Teaching Your Girlfriend Football


– So what don’t you know? – Everything. – One team gets the ball and they’re trying to score. – I’m not that dumb. – College is a little
bit different from NFL. If I run that route, that’s a post. How many points is a
touchdown worth? – Six. – That’s good, most people
would’ve said seven. You run up 10 yards,
come back, hitch. The extra point is one point. How many points is a
two-point conversion worth? – Two. (laughs) – Okay, you’d be surprised. You have four attempts
to get 10 yards. Come up, hitch, keep going,
hitch-n-go. That’s when you get
’em on the double move. Oh, got ’em! Where you going? I’m scoring. So if it’s first down
and you gain five yards, what is it? – First and five. – To the left of the
center is the left guard. It’s first down and 10. So to the right of the
center is the… – Right guard. – You gain five yards, so it’s now second down and… – Five. – Post-corner, go to the
corner of the end zone. Boom, come back, ooh! You see that? – So why do you like
the Cowboys? – Because I’m American. – Why wasn’t that a catch? – He didn’t make a
football move. – He looks controlled to me. – No, he has to make a
football move and– – Isn’t the whole game of
football a move? – Honestly, no one knows
what a catch is. – How do they know
how far to go if they can’t see the yellow lines? – Field awareness. I’m the center, you’re
the left guard. Left tackle, most important position
on the offensive line, why? – Because they’re defending. – Hit stick! Hit stick! Oh! 10 yards, cut it in. In, this is in. What is this? – Oh, out. I thought you said N. I’m like, that’s not an N. – Like the letter N? Two conferences, AFC, NFC. In each conference,
four divisions. Each division winner
goes to the playoffs. Two other teams go to
the playoffs, as well, whichever two teams have
the best record, but didn’t win their division. So let’s say your division
is really good. 4-3, four defensive
linemen, three linebackers. 3-4, three defensive
linemen, four linebackers. One knee equals two feet. The quarterback of the
defense, middle linebacker. Pocket awareness. From the left tackle to the right tackle, going this way,
that’s the pocket. When he goes outside
of the right tackle or the left tackle, he’s
outside of the pocket. Sometimes you gotta step
up in the pocket. Sometimes you just
gotta scramble from the pocket and just go. See how he’s going in motion? You know that’s
man-on-man coverage, ’cause he’s following him. If he wasn’t following him, that would be zone coverage. – Fake handoff. – That is called play action. Why do you run the ball? To pass. Between the center
and the right guard, that’s the A gap, okay? Boom, B gap. So if you’re running,
and running, and running, I hit you with the play action, – Oh, I got it.
– Yep. – So there’s different
rules for college football and NFL football overtime? Why would they do that? – So if you’re in the SEC, you don’t really have to play a hard
out-of-conference schedule because you’re already
playing all the best teams in the nation. That’s why UCF is garbage. They don’t play anyone. Wide receiver, cornerback, not the quarterback,
cornerback. – The onside thing-y,
what’s that called again? Safe catch? – You score, kick the
extra point, then you kick off– – That’s a punt. – No, no. He faked it to the running
back and he kept it. You see, he’s reading
the defensive end. Now, who is the most
important person on the line? – [Angela] Left tackle. – Exactly. Why is the left tackle the
most important? Movie, think about the movie. – Because he’s protecting
the blind side. – Exactly, there we go
(claps loudly). What are screens? Sometimes you let the
defense rush you, okay? NFC winner versus
the AFC winner, they meet in the Super Bowl. That’s why only certain
teams can play in the Super Bowl. Urban Meyer said he
had health problems. But then a year later, he’s
coachin’ at Ohio State. – The Ohio State. – So like what type of
health problems? Did they just go away? NFL draft, there’s seven
rounds in the draft. If you have the worst
record, you pick first. That’s why the Browns
were always picking first in the NFL. In college, you can
recruit anyone, anywhere. It doesn’t matter. Now, when you do it illegally, that’s when you win a
lot of championships. So that’s why I think
Alabama is going to have to forfeit all
their championships. A false start is when an
offensive player moves before the snap. – But if a defensive
player moves before the snap. – They can do that, they
can do whatever they want. But if they line up over
the line of scrimmage, you know what the
line of scrimmage is? – Mm-hmm. – What’s the line of scrimmage? – Where the ball is. – You know what a audible is? The quarterback gets to
the line of scrimmage, he’s looking around, he sees something
he doesn’t like. What does he do?
(makes phone ring tone) He calls an audible. What is the middle linebacker? He’s the blank of the defense. – Quarterback. – Exactly. Sometimes they can
change the play too. Oh, you’re audible-ing? We’re gonna audible too. ACC is a
one-team conference. It’s just Clemson that’s
good, no one else is good. Cover 3. Okay, this is
where it gets interesting. – Why aren’t the Cowboys
in the Super Bowl? (melancholy violin music) – You see, what had happened– I’m a grown man.

100 thoughts on “Teaching Your Girlfriend Football

  1. Ima die hard Cowboys fan…been a fan since birth…I even started playing women's full contact football this year and i still learned alot from this video!丹賤儭

  2. My wife asked me why the football is not round. All balls are supposed to be round according to her. I think she asks me stupidest questions just to piss me off. I no longer try to explain the rules of the game. I dont watch football when she is around.

  3. At least she was listening. My wife flatly REFUSES to learn anything at all about the game or the team. She just screams "GIT 'EM!!" on every play.

  4. the Catch clip was funny..
    Scooter: incomplete pass
    Girl: isnt that a catch?
    Scooter:he has to make a football move!
    Girl: isnt the whole game a football move?
    Scooter:….. Honestly nobody knows whats a catch anymore
    HAHAHAHAH i was cracking up

  5. I can't teach my girlfriend shit, she is better at football than I am. this sucks, I can't even throw a damn touchdown pass. I don't even remember the last time I scored.

  6. After you said the screen part about sometimes u allow the rush I was hoping for a bit about prevent defense too. Lol. "sometimes you play a defense allowing them to get easy first downs" Lol

  7. Eric Ebron of the Colts vs the Chargers week 1 of 2019 and Kenny Golladay of the Lions vs the Chiefs week 4 of 2019 would agree that nobody knows what a catch is.

  8. 4 chances(downs) to move the ball 10 yards. If successful, downs reset until TD or voluntary/involuntary turnover.

    I'm done.

  9. Scooter you crack me up because I'm just like you watching games it's so bad I can't be around anyone . I have to watch alone for safety.

  10. Scooter you look like Sak Prescott when he gets sacked or fumbles or when they don't make the playoffs again the cowgirls will never make the superbowl again in the neext ten years bulls have bigger balls than Prescott there's only two things in texas stears and queers that's what America so call team has for a quarterback !!!!!!!

  11. no offense would refer to the gaps as "A" gap or "B" gap, that is a defensive perspective where sides dont matter. the offense would always use 1-9.

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