*Festive music* You’ve decorated the tree, you’ve hung the lights, you’ve made the list, hyped up by all those commercials and catalog pages. All those hot new video games you gotta have! But this is the giving season, right? Yeah! Giving your parents money to Kay Bee’s and Kiddie City! Or, if there is a magical place in the North Pole where Sega and Nintendo products are being manufactured on drifting sheets of ice, then Santa better get his fat ass down the chimney, and give me the presents now!! *Festive music* *Glass breaking* *Festive music* Keith: Dude! I got the presents! Nerd: Keith! How’d you do it?! Keith: I stole ’em from Santa, thanks to my disguise. I put on this costume from the 2003 smash-hit movie “Elf”! *Festive music* Nerd: This is so awesome! Let’s open it! Keith: Alright! *Paper tearing* *Rock music* Keith: The Sega Activator! The full-body controller that lets you JUMP into the action! It gives you the ultimate edge for those hot new fighting games! Get totally psychically involved, man! At first, you won’t see the advantages of the Activator, but then… *Punch sound effect* It’ll hit you! *Rock music* *Smack* Nerd: Eight panels fire infrared beams so that every punch, kick, and move is transformed into the action on-screen! Get into the game, and BECOME the characters. *Rock music* Keith: Ooh yeah! Nerd: Awww! *Rock music* *Music stops* *Music starts again* *Music stops* *Music starts again* Keith: Come on! Fight me! Nerd: I can’t even move! *Repeated smacking sound effects* *Rock music stops, calm music starts playing* Imagine playing the U-Force while standing up and using your whole body! That’s what this is. I can’t believe the box actually says ‘better than standard hand controllers’! What were they thinking?! *Glass shattering* Let me try. *Rock music* Nerd: Streets of Rage 2. Keith: Yes! That’s my autobiography. *Rock music* *Whooshing* *Smacking sound effect* *Whooshing* *Smacking sound effect* *Whooshing* *Smacking sound effect* Keith: Ugh! *Rock music stops, festive music starts* Nerd: How ’bout another one? Keith: All right. Nerd: Let’s open it! *Paper ripping* Nerd: Wow! The Aura Interactor! *Music stops*
Nerd: What the hell is that? Keith: Well… *Futuristic music* It’s the radical virtual reality force-feedback rumble-wear! Using electromagnetic actuator technology! Well… fuck yeah! Keith: Low frequency sounds are transmitted into the Interactor’s power amplifier, converting them into gnarly vibrations! That means you can now finally feel like you’re in the game! I’ve always wanted to feel the PUNCHES! The kicks! The crashes! The slaaam dunks! Explosions! And more! *Rock music* Keith: *Grunting* *Crash* *Festive music* How are you supposed to do a Hadoken with this thing? So Keith, how’s the Interactor? It’s wicked, man. *Glass shattering* *Smack* Nerd: Alright, let me try this. *Rock music* Nerd: *Grunting* Keith: *Grunting* *Glass shattering* Nerd: Aahhh! Keith: Oooh myyy god! What it is in THIS one? *Paper tearing* Oooh. Totally tubular! It’s the TeeVGolf! *Intense festive music* Hoh hoh! Wow. Fooooourteen! You idiot! That’s for golf. Here. Keith: You turned off Sonic! Christmas offense. Well… it works. *Smack* *Paper tearing* Keith: The VictorMaxx Virtual Reality Stuntmaster. Nerd: Wow! Now we can really feel like we’re in the game! Keith: Wow. Keith: It’s a wire squid. How do we hook this up? It’s easy! Set the mode switch, the adapter connects to the cable assembly, The multi-out jack connects to the video output on the back of your Sega Genesis model 1, the cable assembly’s controller jack connects to the first port on the front of the console, the other controller jack connects to the controller, the power jack conects to the power output which connects to the the AC adapter, which plugs into the wall! That means the video signal, the AC power, AND the controller all share the same wire! That is crazy. Keith: You’re really chugging some gigabytes! Nerd: Ugh, this thing weighs a ton! Keith: That’s why you need the VictorMaxx tracking tube! Included with the Stuntmaster for maximum stabilization! Nerd: Wow! What is it? Keith: It’s a… plastic… stick. You just clip it like this, connect it like so, and now you optimum support! Oh, great. They really figured this out. Keith: Also, the movement of your head controls the action from left to right. Nerd: Wow, that’s some advanced shit. Nerd: There’s a force in this universe… all you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking… let things happen… be the ball. *Glass cracking* *Glass cracking* *Smack* *Crashing* Keith! *Thud* Woah! *Festive music* It’s the BatterUP baseball bat! Nerd: Gimme dat! *Take Me Out to the Ball Game starts playing* *Whoosh, crash* Keith: I have the ultimate bodily reflexes. *Glass shattering* *Glass shattering* *Glass shattering* Game announcer: Perfect! *Glass shattering* Oh, this thing is murder on my eyes! Ugh! It’s stuck! Get it off!! *Glass shattering* Let me try that. Nerd: *Gasp* *Crack* Keith: Oooo, what’s this? Nerd: I don’t know, let’s see. *Paper ripping* Keith: The Menacer! Nerd: The Sega Menacer! Nerd: Can you look more menacing, man? Keith: Yeah! Keith: The Sega Menacer, the only game gun for a man! *Makes gun sound with mouth* Heh heh heh! I’ll kill your face! Eat that! I’ll be right back. Keith: Aaaah! *Both grunting* *Crush* *Festive music, things falling and crashing* *Crash* *Festive music* Want some more Angry Video Game Nerd? The DVD collector’s set is available. 9 DVDs containing 139 episodes and bonus content. DVD number nine is the newest. It picks up where the last one left off, and has some awesome new extras, and behind the scenes footage. On Blu-ray, we have the epic Angry Video Game Nerd feature film with surround sound, and if you want to have a marathon of the first 100 episodes, they’re all on the Nerd Volume X Blu-ray. Two NEW Blu-rays are coming very soon: Nerd Volume X2, and Board James: The Complete series. Any episodes shot in HD are presented in HD. All Blu-rays and DVDs are able to play worldwide, none of the region-coding bullshit. Also, we have T-shirts, T-shirts, T-shirts, all on Amazon. See all product links in the description below, and have an awesome holiday season.