Ozzy Man Reviews: Best of Ping Pong 2016

Let’s have a look over some of the greatest ping pong moments last year. Here we have England vs Japan. They are giving that ball a fair dinkum solid whacking. This is no casual game in the caravan park activity room. This is next level shit. The Englishman is giving it all he’s got. He wants his opponent to fuck up and there it is! That’s a big win. He does a victory lap around the stadium. The sheilas are going fucken nuts. This Englishman is as pumped as Arnie Schwarzenegger in his prime. Let’s cross over to the Korea Open. There’s a cheeky lob, it hits the side of the table. But the lady in pink does not panic what so ever. These women are stuck in a… “nah fuck you, nah fuck you, nah fuck you” deadlock of the highest quality. Is one of them gonna fuck up? There it is! Here we have Germany vs China. I think these fellas need a tennis court. This little table is taking a pounding. The table is like “no worries, I can handle it, look at my strong legs, I never skip leg day.” Oh I think China has fucked it. Gee, he had the German bloke running around… he’s having to sprint 1-3 metres, so I thought China had it. Unfortunately, the fucken net ruined the party. Now strap yourself in for this high octane adrenaline fuelled thrill ride. This rally almost made me shit myself. True story. Mitzy from Japan is attacking Apo from Portugal. There’s more to this than just a regular “nah fuck you, nah fuck you, nah fuck you” deadlock. Both of these blokes are stubborn to the point… where it’s probably a mental health issue. Portugal is stopping everything. Ohhh I thought Mitzy was gonna go under the legs there. . He keeps doing an under the legs fake out. I probably would’ve fallen for that trick the first time. Apo is a lot smarter than me. Oh he has to stretch for that one! Mitzy has him running, there’s a big dive! ! Some delicate returns, another smasher, there’s a lot going in psychologically here. Mitzy says “get fucked!” Apo refuses to get fucked. Mitzy says “get fucked again!” And Apo gets fucked. Let’s see if we get another rally… oh no it’s over. What the fuck happened? No one knows what’s going on. Let’s have a look at the replay. Everything appears to be in order with the serve. The Frenchman does a petite return but the Chinese fella sneaks the ball back onto the table. Everyone is like “is that allowed? What are the rules?” But then the Frenchman goes “oh ok you fucken got me.” And he’s like “Yeah, I fucken got ya!”

100 thoughts on “Ozzy Man Reviews: Best of Ping Pong 2016

  1. Haven't lived until you've watched an epic Ping pong showdown to the musical style of system of a down. Words I never thought i'd post

  2. These ping pong balls are defying the fucking laws of physics. They are like..' yeah na yeah!.. fuck you physics, gravity's all distorted for me. I can beat the gravity and swing in any direction I want and you can't do shit about it. '

  3. 2:20 If this was a football the player would be rolling around on the floor shuting foul 😛

  4. For some reason that retort between the frenchman and the chinese guy made me smile big time.
    "You fucking got me"
    "Oh yeh, i fucking got ya"

  5. it would be great if u could broadcast a live commentary of thurman vs pacqiao this july.. the typical comentators are bias and dickhead

  6. Mitzy says, "Get fucked!", Apo refuses to get fucked, Mitzy says, "Get fucked!" again, and Apo gets fucked!

  7. Why was the last point at 2:16 allowed, when it went under the net? I thought it had to go over the net to be a legal shot.

  8. That Mitzy vs Apo match was just unbelievable….. Never seen a rally anywhere close to that in ping pong before.

  9. I play golf, tennis and can hit free throws and 3 pointers with decent accuracy. by no means am I athletic but I do consider myself coordinated. Table tennis for some reason is maddening as I can't ever seem to figure out the touch, coordination and technique required to be good at it.

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