Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored


– “BEEN TRYING TO REACH OUT
TO YOU ALL DAY. ARE WE ON FOR TONIGHT?” [sighs]
JEEZ. – WHAT?
YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. I’M LANCE MOORE.
TOUCHDOWN, BITCH. WHAT?
PAUSE. [phone chimes] OH, SHOOT. KEEGAN’S BEEN TEXTING ME. “SORRY, DUDE,
MISSED YOUR TEXTS. “I ASSUMED WE’D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER.
I DON’T CARE.” [phone chimes] – “SORRY, DUDE,
MISSED YOUR TEXTS. “I ASSUMED WE’D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER.
I DON’T CARE.” “WHATEVER. I DON’T CARE”? WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM? “DO YOU EVEN WANT TO HANG OUT?” – “DO YOU EVEN WANT
TO HANG OUT?” OH, THAT’S CONSIDERATE. “LIKE I SAID, WHATEVER.” – “LIKE I SAID, WHATEVER”? FUCK THIS GUY. JESUS, “YOU…” – “ARE FUCKING PRICELESS.” AWW.
“YOU’RE THE…” – “ONE WHO’S FUCKING PRICELESS”? THIS M– THIS MOTHERFUCKER HERE. OH, HE WANTS TO–
OKAY, MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
OKAY. “YOU WANT TO GO…” – “RIGHT NOW?” HMM. GUESS I COULD DO THAT. [clears throat] “OKAY…” – “OKAY, LET’S GO”? HE SAID OKA–
“OKAY, LET’S GO”? ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT?
“YOU WANT TO REALLY…” – “DO THIS NOW?”
KEEGAN, YOU NUT. YOU’RE NOT PUTTING ME OUT. – “FUCK YEAH, LET’S DO IT”? OH, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! – “FIRST ROUND’S MINE.” – OH, NO!
OH, NO! THERE AIN’T GONNA BE
NO ROUNDS, ASSHOLE! IT’S GONNA BE
A FUCKING STREET FIGHT! THIS SON OF A– – ♪ ‘CAUSE TONIGHT WE GONNA
PARTY AND THE PARTY DON’T STOP ♪ – YOU! – BUDDY! LIKE I SAID, FIRST ROUND’S MINE. A BEER AND A GIMLET
FOR MY PARTNER RIGHT– WHAT’S THAT? – UH, I-I GOT YOU
A BASEBALL BAT WITH NAILS IN IT. – FOR MY POST-APOCALYPTIC
JACKIE ROBINSON COSTUME. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored

  1. Honestly you look so much like deadpool in the intro photo thing. I don't know what to call it, I guess its called a thumbnail.

  2. Mad aside this scene turned me on to the show. These Geniuses can stretch out the smallest microcosm of life in a very brilliant different way constantly. Consistently bringing the fuckin heat, even the toss away jokes when they're just fucking around. Big part of my comedic fungus as a single 29 YO' reluctant white person from Indiana. Just illuminating their vast reach and relateability

  3. This is totally me and my best friend. I always think she is mad in her text messages because I perceive a tone that isn't there lol

  4. One friend does this to the point they question your response because they don't recall what they've text.

    I get ghost

  5. my ex girlfriend text messages…

    her: I'm at a friends house making a jewlery box

    Me: no you're not you're getting high again

    damn crack head lol

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