Key & Peele – “Family Matters” – Uncensored


– YOU–LET ME THROUGH. THIS IS BULLSHIT, GENE. – WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.
WHAT’S THE MATTER, RICH? – IN THE NEXT EPISODE STEVE URKEL TURNS CARL
INTO A GIANT SANDWICH AND ACCIDENTALLY EATS HIM? – HA-HA, BUT WAIT,
THAT’S HILARIOUS, BUDDY. IT’S HILARIOUS.
– COME ON! I’M AN ACTOR, GENE! THIS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY. – I KNOW,
BUT YOU KNOW, AFTER THAT– AFTER THAT FIRST GUEST SPOT
WITH STEVE URKEL, I MEAN, AMERICA FELL IN LOVE
WITH HIM, MAN. WE HAD TO MAKE HIM A REGULAR,
AND NOW, YOU KNOW– HEY, LISTEN, HE’S THE STAR
OF THE SHOW NOW, SWEETHEART. WE GOTTA PLAY BALL, BUBBELEH. – DON’T YOU DARE
“BUBBELEH” ME, GENE. NOW, LAST WEEK, STEVE USED
HIS TRANSFORMATION MACHINE TO TURN CARL INTO A CAR AND DRIVE HIM AROUND
THE MONACO GRAND PRIX? COME ON! HOW MANY TIMES YOU GONNA
USE THIS TRANSFORMATION MACHINE? THIS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE A BLUE COLLARCOSBY SHOW.NOW YOU’RE TURNING IT
INTO GODDAMNQUANTUM LEAP.WHO WRITES THIS SHIT? – OKAY, I COULDN’T TELL YOU
EVEN IF I WANTED TO, OKAY, MAN? WE GOT, LIKE,
21 WRITERS UP THERE, OKAY? KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING,
REGINALD? BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW
THAT THEY DON’T DECIDE WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS SHOW, OKAY? WE BOTH KNOW WHO DECIDES
WHAT HAPPENS IN THE SHOW. – TWO WEEKS AGO STEVE URKEL USED
HIS INVISIBILITY RAY ON CARL AND I WASN’T
EVEN IN THE GODDAMN EPISODE. IT WAS JUST MY VOICE.
– YES, I KNOW. I KNOW, REGINALD.
I’M SORRY. I FUCKING APOLOGIZE.
IT’LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. – THEN STEVE USED HIS
VOICE-CHANGING RAY TO TURN CARL INTO A HIGH-PITCHED,
NERDY VOICE. WHO DO YOU THINK
PROVIDED THE VOICE FOR THAT? – DON’T GET TOO FEISTY
ON ME NOW, REG. LET’S NOT GO DOWN THAT PATH,
OKAY? – OH, OH, WE ARE GOING
DOWN THAT PATH, GENE. IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS,
HARRIET, EDDIE, LAURA, GRANDMA, AUNT RACHEL, LITTLE RICHIE,
AND THE OTHER LITTLE KID ARE GONNA GET TELEPORTED
TO ANOTHER DIMENSION, AND THEN STEVE INJECTS CARL
WITH HIS OWN DNA, SO CARL
TURNS INTO ANOTHER STEVE URKEL. THAT’S TWO STEVE URKELS
AND NO FAMILY ON A SHOW CALLEDFAMILY MATTERS.HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK? – LISTEN, LISTEN, REGINALD.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. URKEL MANIA IS UNSTOPPABLE,
OKAY? HE’S A PHENOMENON. THERE’S NOTHING
WE CAN DO ABOUT IT, OKAY? IT’S UP TO S– HIM. – NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! I’M AN ACTOR.
I’M A FUCKING ACTOR. I AM A REAL ACTOR. I DIDRICHARD III.I WAS INTRUE WEST
WITH SHERMAN HEMSLEY. I WAS INDIEHARD,DAMN IT. FUCK STEVE URKEL! – FUCK–
YOU WILL SUCK STEVE URKEL’S FUCK
IF HE WANTS YOU TO! YOU WILL SUCK HIS FUCKING DICK,
DO YOU UNDERSTAND? HE IS OUR BREAD AND BUTTER,
YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I AM HIGH ON COCAINE! – I’M A FUCKING ACTOR, GENE! I DONE MORE COCAINE
THAN YOU WEIGH, MOTHERFUCKER! – I’M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT YOU
ARE, REGINALD VELJOHNSON. YOU’RE A FUCKING PAWN
IN THAT NERD’S GAME. YOU ARE A FUCKING PAWN! DO YOU THINK I HAVE ANY POWER
OVER WHAT THAT MONSTER DOES? ANY POWER AT ALL? – AHH! – I AM THE SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT
OF DEVELOPMENT FOR THE AMERICAN BRO– – GENE?
GENE? GENE, WHAT’S BECOME OF YOU,
GENE? – I AM NOTHING. – GENE, I DON’T KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT, GENE, BUT YOU’RE SCARING ME. OH, NO, DON’T, DON’T,
DON’T DO ANYTHING CRAZY, GENE. EVERYONE DOES TOO MUCH COKE
SOMETIMES, BUT DO THE–JUST, WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO WITH THE GUN, GENE? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
DON’T–NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. WE CAN TALK THIS THROUGH. OKAY? – THE KING IS DEAD. LONG LIVE THE KING. – NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! – DID I DO THAT? – JALEEL.
– JALEEL? THERE IS NO JALEEL. ONLY STEVE. IT’S ALWAYS BEEN STEVE. – YIPPIE KI-YAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
[gun clicking] – FORGETTING SOMETHING, CARL? – DON’T YOU COME NEAR ME. STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU HEAR? – COULD HAVE ALL BEEN SO SIMPLE,
CARL. JUST SAY YOUR LINES AND TAKE THE MONEY. – YOU’RE A MONSTER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I, I, I, I CAN’T CONTROL– – AM I DOING THIS? – NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. STEVE, I’LL DO ANYTHING. – YOU WILL DO
WHAT I WANT ONFAMILY MATTERS.– YES, YES. OF COURSE, STEVE. – SEE YOU ON SET, CARL. – GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, STEVE!

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – “Family Matters” – Uncensored

  1. Hay maby if he went down on him he would have wrote Carl better scenes ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿค 

  2. โ€œNow we turn this show into Quantum Leapโ‰๏ธ Who writes this shitโ‰๏ธโ€

    Whoever came up with that line needs an award LOLโ€ผ๏ธ ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  3. With Peele looking like Sgt. Powell from Die Hard Key was channeling Harry Ellis, the guy from the Nakatomi office party who was killed by Hans Gruber. Even Key was snorting drugs like Harry was.

  4. I didn't even know it as a kid but my sister bought the DVDs as an adult n she tells me that the first season didn't have urkel! She also says it was super boring so I can see how the takeover happened…

  5. Superb acting!! A grown man calling another "Boo boo luv"๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ the part where the agent get possessed and then recomposed himself in his seat.. Then the soundtrack crept through in the background…that was powerful execution.

  6. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€

  7. "I'm a motherfuking actor Gene I done more cocaine than you weigh motherfuker" that line is where I lost it at my desk at work lol

  8. ๐ŸคฃThey got that hair line on point!๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ

  9. โ€œYouโ€™ll suck Steve Urkleโ€™s dick if he wants you to!โ€

    At that moment I died๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’€

  10. I never watched this show because I was born in 2001, but if the scripts were as departing as this sketch makes it out to be, the writers did a terrible job with being consistent with the show

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