Jim “Captain Cool” Johnman’s Don Bradman Cricket 14 | Monster Factory

– [Justin] Hi, I’m Peter Moore. We’re back with Cricket 14.
(Griffin laughing loudly) This year, no tutorials. You were sick of it, so we’re just gonna get right into the hot, cricket action. All the billywigs, all the
crumbums, all the knockers. (Griffin laughing)
(upbeat music) – [Griffin] Cor blimey, Justin, we’re back with another episode of Monster Factory. I’m here with my best friend,
who I think is Don Bradman. – [Justin] Don Bradman teaches cricket. – [Griffin] Don Bradman’s
13th sequel to Cricket. – [Justin] Whether he’s
a coach or a player or a manager or an owner
or a commentator… – [Griffin] We’re not quite
sure. We’re trying to find Don. Should we look at the manual? Because I do not know how cricket works. – [Justin] No, if you look at the manual for how cricket works, I
will call you a coward. – [Griffin] Other players,
okay, so this is what, these are what cricket players are. This is what they, I guess,
real ones, what they look like. 1,655 players, huh? – [Justin] Dang, that’s a lot of players. And what a great organizational tool here just throwing them all in there. – [Griffin] This is the canvas upon which we will do our work. Maybe we save the identity for later. – [Justin] Uh-huh. – [Griffin] Bowling? We’re going to come back to this. I’m definitely going to turn on bowling exertion sound effects. – [Justin] He’s got kind of a Jimmy voice, if you know what I mean. I don’t wanna put him on blast. He’s got kind of a Jimmy voice. – [Griffin] Well, you can’t hear this. Famously, you can’t hear
anything that happens on my side of the computer, but… (in game yelling)
Jimmy is sort of a high voice. (in game yelling)
Oh, dang. Michael sounds like a
Shrek, that’s who’s it. How many feets is this?
(mouse clicking) That, whoa, I’ve got this kid in the UI. – [Justin] I grew up into the UI. I got Jack disease, put me in the UI. It’s me, Player Team. – [Griffin] My name is Player Team. (Griffin and Justin laughing)
I’m player team. – [Justin] Quiff medium? I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say that. – [Griffin] Yeah, those
aren’t our words, Justin. Let’s start, I want to start
with, hey, looking good! – [Justin] Looking good! I like the ones where he’s
balding, kinda looks like a… – [Griffin] I mean, we’re gonna look at all 243 of these options, by the way. – [Justin] Yeah, I’m
like, not bald, but like, some of the ones where he’s balding makes him look a middle manager
from Dubuque, I love it. We’ve found this guy in an
intramural cricket league. He’s 60 years old, but he’s got the bowling hand of a 40 year old. My dream haircut would just be exactly what we’re seeing right now. – [Griffin] Just an oscillating
fan of lengths and cuts– – [Justin] See, like
some of these where the– See, that goes way up. (laughing) – [Griffin] I like them all the way up. – [Justin] I like a boy that goes all the way up with his hairline. (both shouting and laughing) – [Griffin] Hey, hey, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t just try to sneak
that in there, my friend. – [Justin] Hey, cousin Larry,
don’t try to slip past us. – [Griffin] Holy shit, he’s
got Balki vibes to the max. I’m craving this Balki wave. – [Justin] No, that is a cousin Larry. I hate to quibble, I
know you’re a young man– – [Griffin] Shoot. – [Justin] Cousin Larry
is the one with hair like this, Balki has a clean cut. – [Griffin] Beans, you’re right. – [Justin] Wow (chuckling),
he looks like, that– – [Griffin] He looks sick as hell, man. – [Justin] This guy is
a fucking spitting image of the “How I make bread”
guy, remember that meme? – [Griffin] No. – [Justin] Remember the
“How I make bread” meme? Guy looks exactly like “How I make bread.” – [Griffin] No, Clayton, edit
that meme in, I don’t know it. (somber piano music) (Griffin laughing) – [Griffin] That’s great, ooh, hello. Yo, this dude’s giving me
a kind of like vapor wave aesthetic that I’m really
kind of into right now. Just make it sort of really
difficult to look at. That’s tough to look at, isn’t it? That’s a hard, that’s a hard
hair to look at, I feel like. – [Justin] It kind of
looks like what I imagine Sonic’s gonna look like in the movie. – [Griffin] Yeah, sure, we’ve
only just begun with this guy, but I’m pretty sure he
fucks, I’m like 90% sure. Oh my god, look at all
these fucking options, Don! – [Justin] It looks like he’s got a milk mustache on his eyebrows. (laughing) Like he drinks
milk with his eyes. – [Griffin] It’s so good,
Todd Howard is tired, Don Bradman is wired.
(Justin laughing) (Griffin and Justin shouting) – [Justin] Wowzer! (laughing) – [Griffin] Whoa, whoa, these
are coming fast and furious! (Justin laughing) Oh, shit, we can make him
look like Drew Carey’s friend from the Drew Carey Show.
(Justin laughing) Oh man, there’s a lot of power in here. Oh, I kind of like that extremely
perverted small sideburn– Folks watching at home,
I’m not here to tell you your business, you cannot have this. (Justin laughing) – [Justin] This specific style combination has just been outlawed. – [Griffin] I want it to not touch. – [Justin] Whoa, god, what
grim configuration is this? He does, like if Colonel Sanders was the official sponsor of Hunger Games. – [Griffin] There’s
different shapes of stubble? I did not know this, stubble
opacity, all the way up. – [Justin] I don’t agree with that choice. I think that if you
have this configuration of facial hair, you spend a lot of time– Well, how would it be that,
but how would it be that? He looks like Red Skelton
as Frankie Freeloader. It’s untenable.
(Griffin laughing) He looks like a velvet painting, (Griffin laughing)
I hate it. How could it be yellow, though? – [Griffin] How could it be
red, how could it be pink? The beard color, do we like that? I mean, we can get pretty crazy with it. – [Justin] I like that he’s claimed some normalcy there, I don’t know why. – [Griffin] Okay, you’re right. – [Justin] I think it grounds it. – [Griffin] Let’s at least
add a little bit of, like, salt and pepper in
there, I like that vibe. – [Justin] You just can’t
leave well enough alone. – [Griffin] I just like that vibe. Body hair? Don, Don, is it my,
Don, is it my birthday? – [Justin] I have more
of a down on my body. – [Griffin] I have more
of a down, I sort of have, I guess you could say, quills? I just got out of the kitchen,
I was making a fresh loaf of bread, and I forgot to
wash all the flour off. Iris color, oh, shit, Justin, I was just sort of
scrabbling around there, I landed on the most piercing
handsome man I’ve ever seen. – [Justin] God, he’s indestructible. – [Griffin] I mean, you dye all
his shit one uniform color– This guy fucks.
(Justin laughing) – [Justin] Yeah. – [Griffin] The factor of this
guy fucks is at, like 15% right now, and it’s like
20, 30, 80, 90, 100% just by turning on that Billy Zane shit. (Justin and Griffin cringing) – [Griffin] Looking good! (laughing) How insulting, this game! We’ve been recording for 13
minutes, and we’ve gotten “Looking good” twice, oh, Justin. – [Justin] Oh, boy, oh, boy. – [Griffin] We ’bout to
Final Pam it up in here! – [Justin] Oh, no! – [Griffin] He’s ruddy,
he’s pitted, he’s bristly. Oh (laughing), yeah, yeah, babe! (Justin laughing)
Yeah, man, I, no. – [Justin] No. – [Griffin] Don’t you take this from me. – [Justin] I don’t wanna
take anything from you, but I do need, I need
to check some aesthetics real quick, just hold on one second. Toucan Dan, the toucan man. – [Griffin] Oh, you’re
right, holy shit, he’s– Justin, we’re just making
Toucan Dan again, aren’t we? – [Justin] We had the face
red, you aesthetically– It’s not, it’s not exact. – [Griffin] That’s Toucan
Dan to a T, holy shit. – [Justin] I mean,
aesthetically, we’re, we’re– – [Griffin] We’re getting close. All right, so, I suggest
either different hair or different color hair
because I don’t want people– I don’t want cosplayers to
be able to use the same wig. Can we just make it look like
a bunch of throw-up up there? (Justin laughing) Now, that, now we’re talking, yes. – [Justin] (slowly) Why
so serious? (laughing) – [Griffin] I guess, I guess. – [Justin] No, anybody with green hair, I tend to gravitate Joker. Let’s just go red hair and give him kind of a fun Ronald McDonald vibe? You know, Ronald McDonald that fucks. – [Griffin] Now, that hair color, I have created a sort
of mishmash here that, if you really zoom in on it,
it does look like a spaghetti. – [Justin] Well, it does, and
also, it contains all colors. – [Griffin] Yep, that’s true, yeah. We need, all right, I’ll tell– Let’s make a deal, let’s
play “Let’s Make a Deal.” We got six sliders here,
we both get to pick two. – [Justin] Okay, okay. – [Griffin] And we’re gonna
listen to “Rock It” while we do. I’m gonna go with freckles. – [Justin] Okay, I wanna go– I can’t do any middle sliders, huh? – [Griffin] No. – [Justin] Then pimples. – [Griffin] Yeah, I
figured that’d be the– That’s sort of the weirdest
take on pimples I’ve ever seen. Oh, no, okay, yeah,
they’re there, it tracks. You can’t see the forest for the trees. – [Justin] I think that that’s
good, I think that’s good. – [Griffin] Oh my god, Don! (Justin chuckling evilly) – [Griffin] Donald! – [Justin] Yes! (laughs) Just a young baby,
I’m just a cricket baby. – [Griffin] You have chosen poorly. (Justin and Griffin shouting) That was a short, “Rock It”
was the shortest song I’ve ev– I don’t know how Clayton’s
chopped and screwed this video. That was about 45 seconds. – [Justin] God almighty, make him old. That guy’s really old. – [Griffin] Let’s tear
through, what is tear through? Tear through is, we’re tearing
through the flesh of the face I think it actually says tear trough, but that’s also not what it’s called. – [Justin] Hey, come on. – [Griffin] Cheeks, can I turn cheeks off? – [Justin] Oh, god, it looks like he’s being dehydrated, it’s miserable. Oh, he does have some
cute dimples, though. – [Griffin] You like those? Can you even– Where, where are they?
(Justin laughs) Let’s get philtrum– – [Justin] (gravelly) I
like a thick philtrum. – [Griffin] Orbicularis
oris, all right (chuckles), Don, not all of us went to brain school. (Justin laughing)
chin cleft, pointless, good. A lot of features on that face, huh? – [Justin] God, he’s kind of
a hundred yarder, isn’t he? – [Griffin] Oh, shit, oh, shit! Justin, this is so
delectable, look at this! – [Justin] How could it let
us do all those other things? I feel like we just
put a bunch of frosting on a cake we didn’t bake yet. – [Griffin] Don Bradman, where
have you been all my life? This game came out five
years ago, I’m guessing. Can I suggest maybe we see– – [Justin] Oh, whoa, wow, wow! – [Griffin] I wanna see if we can get it real tall but super skinny. – [Justin] Va-va-voom,
this guy, oh, god, yes! – [Griffin] Chin width, not, oh my god! – [Justin] Oh, god, I feel like this guy is the lead singer of a
Styx cover band cover band. – [Griffin] Oh, I see. (laughing) There, he plays in Stox. – [Justin] Stox, we’re a cover band– (laughing) Stoox. – [Griffin] I’m the drummer for Stux! (Justin laughing) (Griffin groaning)
(Justin laughing) – [Justin] Did you watch
the secret scene at the end after the credits of Shape of Water? It was fucked up. – [Griffin] I’m the Shape of Water baby. (Justin laughing)
I’m what came out of them. (Justin laughing)
Their union produced me. You wanna take that Oscar back? (Justin coughing and laughing) Guillermo will look at
this dude and be like, “That’s actually a
little too much for me.” – [Justin] Yeah. – [Griffin] Look at what it’s
done to his pervert burns. (Justin laughing)
His perv burns. (Justin laughing)
These things are stretching out into a dimension
that I cannot conceive. I’m seeing shadows of a Tesseract– like, this is–
(Justin laughing harder) – [Justin] His face is a map of the world and worlds beyond worlds. – [Griffin] This is so
much, this is just– the nose, Mr. Bradman? – [Justin] That’s a lot of nose slide-age just for a nose, Brad, Don Brad. – [Griffin] This is the new Skyrim, we’re gonna make 80 videos
of Don Bradman’s cricket and his 14th cricket adventure. – [Justin] I can’t wait until– Do you play with a helmet
in cricket? (laughing) – [Griffin] Oh, you’d better not. – [Justin] Nervous about that. – [Griffin] Tip depth, I
don’t know what that means. Oh, all right, there it is. – [Justin] (whispers) God. – [Griffin] It’s all so subtle, what I love about it is
most of these are so subtle. All right, so we deleted the nose– – [Justin] It’s basically a sign that says “Place nose here.” “Nose coming 20/20.” – [Griffin] Do I… (“Road Junkie” plays)
Fuck? (Justin laughing)
Why, yes, I do, still. Can’t take that away from me. Oh, shit, oh, Justin, I don’t know if I want him to be stern with us. But wouldn’t you be if
this was your thing? (Justin laughing) – [Justin] I think I’d probably
be stern with everybody. – [Griffin] Yeah.
(“Road Junkie” plays) I don’t know anything about cricket, I do not know what physical attributes would make one just
innately skilled at it. – [Justin] Yeah, I, we could
have made a very famous– Like, he might look
exactly like a very famous cricket player, I don’t know. – [Griffin] He may look like Don Bradman! I’ve forgotten what the
menu man looks like. Oh, shit, never mind what I
said about subtle sliders, this one’s out of control.
(Justin laughing) Well, I know what I said about keeping his stuff real skinny, these are– – [Justin] Wow! – [Griffin] This is,
this is sliding doors, by which I mean his eyes
literally look, like sort of– “Smiley,” I guess, is a good track– – [Justin] We’re gonna
bring this track back. – [Griffin] If you’re
gonna use this free music in your video game, why
do you feel the need to tell me what the song is called? It’s not like I’m gonna
be like, “Ooh, Hoobastank, “Oh, I remember this Hoobastank track.” This is like, he sees a garbage
can full of rotten fruit, and he’s like (imitates
klaxon alarm), yum! Because that’s his whole thing. – [Justin] Oh god! – [Griffin] Which one of these is gonna– This is the decision, which one of these makes him better at cricket? Because this one, he’ll
be able to keep an eye on second base and third base, I think, you know what I mean? He’s got more peripheral, like, sort of– – [Justin] He can see all the bases. He looks like an alien
version of Breaking Bad trying to sneak into a Wendy’s convention. (Griffin laughing) I am the one who fucks!
(Griffin laughing harder) I am the one who fucks!
(Griffin snickering) Say my name, Glaaslblorp Five! (Griffin laughing)
I am the one who fucks. – [Griffin] Oh, let’s
see those teeth, though. – [Justin] That’s him trying– Someone made a joke about
how much they hate aliens. And he’s like, trying
to, “Oh, yeah, good one, “Fucking got him.”
(both laughing hysterically) – [Griffin] His face
looks like a water slide. I don’t even know what I mean by that. (Justin laughing)
Holy shit. Is there a depth option, I want him bottom lip depth all the way. – [Justin] I imagine he is very deep. – [Griffin] I want the top lip to go in because I want it to look like he’s got a big mouthful of snus, and I don’t know if that do that so much in cricket, that may just be a baseball deal. All right, body shape, we, oh my god. – [Justin] Oh my god. – [Griffin] God, how are we gonna do this? Head shape, prominent, prominent. Neck width, good contrast. Neck length (groaning),
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it’s long, it’s long, yeah. I think this is just the body sort of trying to get away from the head by putting a lot of
neck between it and it. Little upper legs, no, lower legs, no. Lankiness, absolutely.
(Justin laughing) An absolute fucking unit.
(Justin laughing loudly) Look at this mad lad, you cannot even– Don, don’t try to keep
him inside the UI, Don! He refuses.
(Justin coughing and laughing) He’s so fucking powerful. He’s really good, he’s
gonna hit and bat and bowl and toss and scramble so fast. Zinc, he needs a lot of it, for bone– – [Justin] Oh, this
might actually be good. There it is, that’s good.
(Griffin laughing) – [Griffin] Yeah, he’s just
had a lot of European cocaine. – [Justin] It’s the blue– (laughing) – [Griffin] This is my
screaming blue power hawk. – [Justin] This is my
familiar, Pantolyman. He helps me to play cricket very good, I draw him on my face
every day before cricket. – [Griffin] That’s a white, this is, like, the only nose sunscreen powder, this might not be a
good way to illustrate. Let me turn it, like,
black so you can see. That is a very haphazard
sunscreen application. They literally, they dipped their hand in a bucket of sunscreen
and then slapped themself on the nose with that, like
there is not an even spread. – [Justin] I don’t necessarily
think that I wanna endorse the idea of just putting
sunscreen on your nose. I think that that’s wild, folks,
put it on your lips, folks. – [Griffin] Put it on your lips, too. – [Justin] If you’re gonna put it on, your whole face needs
it, and any exposed skin. Folks, don’t play around with this stuff. – [Griffin] Are there clothes? Donald!
(Justin chuckling) – [Justin] He’s got your back. – [Griffin] Use team kit, no, no. (Justin chuckling evilly)
Oh my god! – [Justin] Oh my fuck.
(Griffin laughing) – [Griffin] Oh my fuck is right, Justin! – [Justin] Dude, what is
it about this powerful hat that gives him a different
hairstyle when he puts it on? (Griffin laughing)
Do you have, by the way, I don’t know anything about cricket, do you have this kind of
flexibility in cricket, just be like, “I’m gonna
wear a Panama hat today!” (Griffin laughing) “Feels Like Real,” real
Panama hat weather! (Griffin laughing loudly)
(Justin laughing in bursts) (both laughing uncontrollably) – [Griffin] These are
pre-war, these are antiques! Holy shit, Justin, I’m
gonna black out, bud. – [Justin] There is a turn that happens sometime in Monster
Factory, where we go from kind of goofing on our creations to making something that
we’re intimidated by, and that is where I am currently living at with this, this character here. – [Griffin] No, he’d fuck us up for– with the power hawk on
his face, we’re dead. – [Justin] I feel like
we’ve made something more powerful and popular
than we will ever be. He is so rad, these
gloves, are you kidding me? – [Griffin] Yeah, the
color, Don has graced us with the best colors, obviously, already, so I’m not gonna touch that. – [Justin] Are these big
oven mitts part of the game? – [Griffin] I think they
might be, I’m having trouble thinking of what possible
application they could have. Batting kit, okay, okay.
(Justin exclaiming) Oh, he does wear a helmet when he bats. – [Justin] That’s okay, that’s okay, that’s just for batting.
(rock music) Oh, but he doesn’t have to, oh shit. – [Justin] Holy shit. – [Griffin] Justin, he
has a knife collection, and he’s gonna use it on me tonight. (Justin laughing) – [Justin] I wouldn’t give
him something post-war because I feel like he’s always pre-war. – [Griffin] He’s in the
war, he never left the war. He’s still in World War II. – [Justin] Wherever he goes. – [Griffin] I mean, I like
the Dexter murder face mask, if I’m being honest, Justin. – [Justin] Yeah, that’s what I want. And the colors on this,
are you kidding me? – [Griffin] Yeah, all right. Will you, like, Google Don
Bradman, see what his deal is? – [Justin] Do you really wanna– wouldn’t that make it less fun? – [Griffin] Well, what
if he’s a big dipshit? – [Justin] Okay, he was a
complex, highly driven man, not given to close personal relationships. – [Griffin] Okay. – [Justin] He was an
administrator, selector, and writer for three
decades after he retired. – [Griffin] I don’t know
what any of that means. – [Justin] I mean, it’s like,
he kept his foot in the game. Like a Madden, like a Madden type. But he was, like, a
dominant scoring force. They had to invent a new kind
of defense called body line to try to curb his immense scores. – [Griffin] So maybe this guy
is just the new Don Bradman. – [Justin] Yeah, he’s just, he’s Brad Donman.
(Griffin laughing) His career batting average of 99.94– – [Griffin] What the fuck! Don! – [Justin] Has been cited
as the greatest achievement by any sportsman in any sport. – [Griffin] Yeah (laughs) I
would say so, Donald! Holy shit! – [Justin] It seems very good, Don! Most players have curb batting averages in the range of 20 to 40. (laughing) Nice try, idiots.
(Griffin laughing) Dang, Don Bradman. – [Griffin] We’ve got all his
gear going, his attributes. We have 308 points– (laughing) – [Justin] To distribute as we see fit. I think, let’s just do
a, do a draft again. – [Griffin] I want you
to pick the first thing that you think he’s, like, maxed out in. – [Justin] Um, probably, I
know he had this great average, probably, like, consistency,
yeah, that’s the stat. – [Griffin] Yeah, I’m
gonna turn his run speed all the way up just because I wanna see what that animation looks like. (Justin laughing)
Um, arm speed. Now, this one, Juice– – [Justin] Mm-hmm, you’re
gonna take it all the way down. – [Griffin] I can’t turn
it, I can’t turn it down. – [Justin] Oh, crumbs. (laughs) – [Griffin] You ruined my joke, Don! That’s strike one! – [Justin] I did make me “Smiley.” – [Griffin] No, it did
not make me “Smiley,” it did not make me “smiley” because you ruined my joke, Bradman. – [Justin] Let’s give him
powerful aerobic fitness. I don’t want to get, him
getting winded out there. – [Griffin] All right. – [Justin] And agility in case
he needs to thrown knives. – [Griffin] Yep, true, skills. – [Justin] Oh my god, oh my god! – [Griffin] Now, wait a minute. – [Justin] Now, wait, Don. – [Griffin] Don, do I not
have a limit to the points? – [Justin] Hey, Don, oh my god, Don, this is kind of an anathema,
but look at the button options. You’ve got an option,
there’s a middle button. – [Griffin] Wow! I mean, we
would never, it’s the most disgusting button I’ve ever seen. – [Justin] It’s a foul button. – [Griffin] All right,
identity, name, Brad Donman. – [Justin] I feel like we’re– we might be stepping on
some cultural toes here. I don’t know if anybody, how
people feel about Don Bradman. – [Griffin] It’s true, maybe we shouldn’t do this, then, maybe it’s a bad idea. – [Justin] But maybe
his name is Brad Donman. – [Griffin] But wait,
then, like, if that’s– let’s split the difference,
let’s call him, like– (Justin laughing loudly) – [Justin] That’s good, that reminds me of the Martian Manhunter, which works thematically very well. He’s just an alien trying
to blend in with us. My name is Jim Johnman,
“Human” is what it says (laughing) on his jersey, just
so there’s no– (laughing). – [Griffin] Commentary nickname– – [Character] Captain Cool. – [Griffin] Oh my god, Justin,
he’s saying all of them! – [Character] Beefy, Behemoth– (Justin repeating in an Australian accent) Belly, Big Fish, Big Master– – [Griffin] Big Master! It goes from all these nonsense words, Boil, Bomber, Boof, Boom Boom– – [Character] Boof, Boom Boom, Boris, Boss, Bumble, Captain Cool. – [Griffin] Captain Cool, it
just comes out of nowhere. – [Character] Dill, Dependable,
Diamonds, Dill, Diva– (Character stammering
names) Freddie, Fishboy. – [Justin] Fishboy, that’s– – [Griffin] Who you calling,
who you calling Fishboy, Don? I’m a human man! (Character stammering
names) Tadpole, Super Cat. (Griffin laughing loudly)
– [Justin] I like Captain Cool like, we, we–
(Character stammering names) – [Griffin] Yeah, you’re right, we’ve been belaboring the point,
but you’d better be careful because, if you get on his bad side– – [Character] Captain Grumpy. (Griffin laughing) – [Griffin] Desired shirt number– Now, let’s not just go with, okay. – [Justin] Thank you, I
like “desired shirt number.” Hey, video game, you’re a video game. How ’bout you give me whatever
fucking number I asked for? – [Griffin] (laughing) I think actually because he’s an alien,
maybe he thinks it’s, like– And he’ll be like,
“Hahaha, sex number, yes? “Boom Boom, Captain Cool loves sex, 62. “We can 62 in our goo
chamber until we both yell.” (Justin and Griffin laughing) Manager, now who are we gonna
play for is the real question. These two are the same species, for sure. (Justin laughing loudly) – [Justin] See, it feel
like he should go up– – [Griffin] I think, this
is, yeah, batting lineup, we’re gonna set him as the wicket keeper, Justin, this is gonna be
a fucking messy episode. Okay, he’s the captain
and the wicket keeper, I think that means we’re
gonna see him a lot. – [Justin] Okay, good, good, good, good. Do you have more of an idea of how to play cricket than I do? – [Griffin] My pal, I
literally know fuck-all. (Justin laughing)
All right, let’s take our first steps onto the cricket course. You sure, you can’t make
further changes to the player? Why the fuck would I want to, Don? Get out the way!
(upbeat guitar music) Oh, not much of excit– (laughing) No cut scenes, I guess, in this one. He’s just watching these games go by. “Yes, get ’em, Kent!”
(Justin laughs) Uh, I don’t, is this game
going to last four days? – [Announcer] Hello,
everyone, and welcome. – [Griffin] Oh, not a
heavily attended game. – [Justin] Well, wait ’til the world gets set on fire by
Jim Johnman, literally. – [Griffin] Justin, I am fucking
terrified right now, dude. I could’ve sworn there were plates! There’s four, three, it
looks like they erased one. Do they have to unlock one? Is that an upgrade, to get the
one that missing from there? The ball looks sick, here I am, I– (Justin and Griffin laughing) Am I spectating, or am
I in the game right now? Get it, go! (laughing) – [Justin] Go, get it! (laughing) – [Griffin] Dang, dang. – [Justin] Don’t you press Y to simulate. I need you involved in every play. – [Griffin] This is the game right here. Get it, get it, go, Jim! – [Justin] He hits it
away, he hits it away– – [Griffin] Pass it, pass it! – [Justin] Get it, get
it, get it, get it– – [Griffin] I got it, aw, damn. – [Justin] Do you know,
at least, the controls? Because I feel like you’re trying to learn two games simultaneously. (Griffin laughing) – [Griffin] Mine, mine,
mine, mine, get it! Come on, I’ve gotta get some fucking statistics in the books, baby. (Justin laughing loudly) – [Griffin] Oh, I can go first-person. – [Justin] Oh, this is worse. All right, the context (mumbles). – [Griffin] That’s the, there’s a, shit. – [Justin] Is that a home run? – [Griffin] Let’s figure
this out one at a time. That’s an umpire, I think–
(Justin laughing) That’s the umpire, that’s the warden– (Justin laughing loudly)
That’s the game keeper, that’s the game keeper,
when they release the hens onto the field, he’s
the one that makes sure that they don’t get killed. – [Justin] Okay, there’s a pitcher– – [Griffin] There’s a
pitcher and a batter. I think it’s called a bowler and a batter. – [Justin] Bowler and a batter. – [Griffin] He hit the ball to the right, which is a good omen. (laughing) – [Justin] So there’s
only three more weeks of temperate weather– – [Griffin] So I know these
guys, these are, those are, there’s like, there’s three pins, I think. – [Justin] What the– – [Griffin] He threw five
balls, seven balls, what the– Okay, I think he’s trying to hit those things in the back there. I don’t know how I’m contributing. (Justin laughing) – [Justin] It seems like there’s a way you could catch the ball so that– – [Griffin] Wait, there’s two of me! What the fuck, what the fuck? (Justin laughing loudly) – [Justin] Hold on, wait, Don, Don! – [Griffin] Brother, brother! How did this happen?
(Justin laughing) He’s got a name on his jersey– – [Justin] Are you a coach? – [Griffin] I’m trying to see what– – [Justin] I don’t understand! – [Griffin] I don’t know what
the fuck is going on, Justin. I don’t care if I’m the coach,
there shouldn’t be two of me! (Justin laughing loudly and coughing) All right, what are these things? – [Justin] I hope you are the coach, then. If you’re the coach, it’s so
(laughing) much more insane that you went running
into the field (laughing) to try to get involved, it’s
like the thing in the Olympics where, like, the runner
got hurt while he’s running the course, so his dad jumped down to, like, help him over the finish line. – [Griffin] Yeah. (laughing) – [Justin] Jim Johnman
wants that to happen so bad for his cricket
team, I got you, son. – [Griffin] Phillip, watch your face. Watch your face, Phillip! Daddy’s got you! Now, if you watch Jim and
his Jim-twin, they both– before every throw, right before every– Oh, okay, I thought that was mine. Before every bowl, they kind
of lift up on their haunches the same exact way in the same exact time. Wait, oh, nope, I thought
maybe it was my turn to play the game, no, okay,
yep, this is gonna be a mystery. – [Justin] I think we
stop where we’re at– – [Griffin] Yeah. – [Justin] You and I spend the next week or two trying to learn cricket– – [Griffin] That could be good. – [Justin] And then we come
back in the second video– – [Griffin] Oh shit, oh shit, a bunt! That guy just took the ball and held it! – [Justin] He just kept it. (laughing) – [Griffin] Uh, you’re right,
Justin, we should do that. Who knows, by the time
we come back to the game, maybe Jim Johnman will have, you know– – [Justin] Tripled! – [Griffin] Bred, bred some more. (Justin laughing loudly) His brood-sack will have
fully dilated, and– – [Justin] Come on, come on! – [Griffin] Now, I was right on that shit! – [Justin] We’re gonna come back and laugh at all the stats that we gave Jim Johnman. – [Griffin] Oh, we’re gonna
laugh so much, Justin. We’re gonna be like,
what were we thinking? – [Justin] You know, “you never catch, “why did we make his catching stat high? “You’re not allowed to
catch,” that kind of thing. – [Griffin] “You’re supposed to run away “from the game as fast as
you can, and if you can get “to the popcorn stands,
you get 20 points.” – [Justin] Hi. (laughing) Hey, what’s up? (laughing) – [Griffin] Don Bradman’s
13th sequel to cricket. He’s come up with some new
rules this time around– (Justin snorts in laughter) We’re all very excited to see what it is. The way, he’s got this
technique, you know how, when you spin around, the way
you stop from getting dizzy is you keep your eyes
fixed on one location? He really does it in a
way that I find very good. – [Justin] Yeah, he’s
pointing, it’s very good. – [Griffin] Don Bradman
can find his light.

100 thoughts on “Jim “Captain Cool” Johnman’s Don Bradman Cricket 14 | Monster Factory

  1. I really thought I knew nothing about sport until I watched this. I genuinely can't tell if they're joking about the bases, homeruns and "the three pins". It's a mess

  2. I paused the video at 13:37 and left the house. Came back hours later, having totally forgotten what was on my screen. Nearly had a heart attack at seeing that face staring back at me.

  3. I always find a little odd, and very funny, how Americans tend to assume that cricket is just 'wrong baseball', or something similar. It's kind of like assuming that soccer has the same rules as American football just because they're both played with an inflatable ball and involve running from one end of a field to the other. Or maybe the same, but between Australian football and American. They're pretty much that different.

    Also apparently they don't know the difference between zinc and sunscreen.

  4. how i made bread video even tho its probs been posted in the comments by now

  5. griffin jokes about hoobastank but there's a very real possibility that some radio station somewhere in the united states is playing "the reason" at this very moment

  6. I love that even in a game, in Don Bradman's wildest dreams, the stands are still almost entirely empty.

  7. Y’ALL! Don Bradman’s total runs are 6996! I REPEAT 6996! It’s the infinite loop of the funny sex number!

  8. It has been 0 days since Justin has said “Frosting on a cake we haven’t baked yet” in a monster factory?

  9. "That kinda looks like how Sonic is going to look in the movie" If only Justin knew how much of a compliment that was when he said it…

  10. He looks like if Lemmy Kilmister got run over by a cartoon steamroller and got added to the newest roster of McDonald's characters

  11. he can't hear anything on your side. why not use discord streaming or some type of service where he can hear lol

  12. I think this is the meme Justin was talking about, because this is so right:

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