Mario: What are we doing for blog today, Fafa? Fafa: Well, for starters, my cousin’s coming over. Mario: You have… cousin? Fafa: Yeah! He should be here any second. Johnny T: Hey Fafa, I got my car horn fixed! (car horn honking) Fafa: He’s here! Mario: He… ran over our garbage cans. Fafa: Johnny T! Johnny T: Fafa! How you doin’, buddy? Fafa: I’m okay. Johnny T: Good to see ya, buddy, good to see, been a while. Fafa: What’s going on? Johnny T: Hey, how come you don’t come down to Bay Ridge no more? Fafa: Eh, we’ve been really busy doing blogs lately. Mario: Uh… the two of you are… cousins? Mario: How is that… even… possible? Johnny T: What? My father was Italian. Johnny T: Alright, stop what yousa doing, we’re going to Coney Island. Fafa: Johnny, we can’t, we’re doing the blog right now. Johnny T: Right now right now? Fafa: Mm-hm. Johnny T: Amazing. This is what yous do with your time. Johnny T: I got some garlic nuts in my car. Mario: Fafa? I don’t know about this. Your cousin is nice and everything… Johnny T: You got a problem with me? Mario: You are frog. Johnny T: Whoa. Mario: I mean, it’s been done. I don’t want to get sued! Johnny T: Look, buddy. First of all, I’m a toad, alright? Now, do I typecast you? Johnny T: Am I like “Oh, there’s a red guy whose face don’t make no sense, he must be from that street where learns all them kids!” Mario: My… face makes sense… Johnny T: Look, Mario, you and me, we’ve gotta stick together. Fafa: Johnny, it’s great to see ya and everything, but we’ve gotta kinda keep doing the blog. Johnny T: Hey, don’t let me stop you! Go put your hat on and teach them people. Fafa: What? Johnny T: You know, you put your fancy school hat on, you list funny facts, that’s what you guys do, right? Mario: We… do more than that. Johnny T: Yo Mario, do that thing you do I like. Mario: What are you talking about? Johnny T: You know that thing where you get all crazy and bugged out. Mario: What are you talking about?! Johnny T: That thing, you know, “Hey, I’m Mario, I’m freakin’ out, I’m all wor-” Mario: (freaks out) Johnny T: Yeah, that’s it, that’s what I like. Johnny T: Now you go put on your hat and go teach me something I don’t know. Fafa: We weren’t really planning on doing this today. Johnny T: Teach me something. Fafa: It doesn’t work like that, it needs to be something relevant to this blog. Johnny T: Alright, uh, well… we were talking about garlic nuts before, right? Teach me something about those. Fafa: Uh… garlic nuts are an appetizer sold at most pizzerias. Johnny T: I knew that. Fafa: Garlic nuts are… made with pizza dough, garlic and olive oil. Johnny T: I knew that. Fafa: Okay… in 2012, 350-pound Robert Wheeler punched his pizza delivery boy in the face for forgetting to bring him his garlic nuts. Johnny T: I did not know that! Learning. Done. Boom. Let’s do something else. Mario: I want garlic nuts now. Johnny T: You want some? I got ’em in my car. Fafa: Johnny, we kinda gotta, you know, keep doing- Johnny T: The blogging, talking to the people, I got your back, coz. Johnny T: Hey you. You ready for this? We’re gonna do a top 10 list! Fafa: Wha- no we’re not! Johnny T: Oh come on, you do ’em all the time and people love ’em. Johnny T: Here’s the one you did about the Internet. Here’s the one you did about sad man movies. Mario: Here’s the one we did about Facebook! Johnny T: Yo, you got my back, Mario! That really means a lot to me. Fafa: No, guys, stop, those lists take a lot of time to prepare. Johnny T: You don’t got one ready? Alright, I got you, coz. Johnny T: Alright, uh, top of my head, just spitballing here… Top 10 things worse than Steven Seagal. Fafa: What? Johnny T: Number 10: A piece of dog crap. Fafa: (gasp) You can’t say that! Johnny T: Why not? Fafa: There might be kids watching this! Johnny T: You think kids don’t know about dog crap? What’s wrong with you? Fafa: Johnny, it’s not that kind of blog… Johnny T: Number 9: Stepping in a piece of dog crap. Fafa: Stop it! Mario: Number 8: Steven Seagal holding dog crap! Johnny T: There you go! Fafa: I have to seriously insist we stop this! Johnny T: Alright, alright, but you gotta let me say my number one thing worse than Steven Seagal. Fafa: (sigh) Is it…? Johnny T: Nah, it’s not dog crap. Fafa: Alright, go ahead. Johnny T: The number one thing worse than Steven Seagal? Two Steven Seagals. Boom. Done. Fafa: I’m sorry about this, everyone. Mario: Two Steven Seagals is horrifying! Johnny T: Aw, man, I gotta go. I gotta see a guy about some Chaka Khan tickets. Alright, Fafa, always good to see ya, buddy. Fafa: Take it easy, buddy. Johnny T: Alright. Hey, Chaka Khan tickets, cheap. (unintelligible) Fafa: Who’s Chaka Khan? Johnny T: Ah, forget about it, no worry. Alright, catch you later, Mario! You and me, buddy, we’re going to Six Flags next week and make some time! (car horn honking) Mario: Your cousin is kind of the best! Fafa: I think he’s why I’m fat. Mario: Wait a minute. Do we have to do blog now? Fafa: I… think we just did? Johnny T: Do yourself a favor. Subscribe to this blog. You’re gonna learn something, maybe the gorilla’s gonna do a dance, maybe that red guy’s gonna freak out, you’ll love it. Mario: What are you doing on the end page?! Johnny T: You see what I’m talking about? Subscribe now, for the low, low prize… of zero! You believe that? Bless freaking America.