Introducing: Johnny T

Mario: What are we doing for blog today, Fafa? Fafa: Well, for starters, my cousin’s coming over. Mario: You have… cousin? Fafa: Yeah! He should be here any second. Johnny T: Hey Fafa, I got my car horn fixed! (car horn honking) Fafa: He’s here! Mario: He… ran over our garbage cans. Fafa: Johnny T! Johnny T: Fafa! How you doin’, buddy? Fafa: I’m okay. Johnny T: Good to see ya, buddy, good to see, been a while. Fafa: What’s going on? Johnny T: Hey, how come you don’t come down to Bay Ridge no more? Fafa: Eh, we’ve been really busy doing blogs lately. Mario: Uh… the two of you are… cousins? Mario: How is that… even… possible? Johnny T: What? My father was Italian. Johnny T: Alright, stop what yousa doing, we’re going to Coney Island. Fafa: Johnny, we can’t, we’re doing the blog right now. Johnny T: Right now right now? Fafa: Mm-hm. Johnny T: Amazing. This is what yous do with your time. Johnny T: I got some garlic nuts in my car. Mario: Fafa? I don’t know about this. Your cousin is nice and everything… Johnny T: You got a problem with me? Mario: You are frog. Johnny T: Whoa. Mario: I mean, it’s been done. I don’t want to get sued! Johnny T: Look, buddy. First of all, I’m a toad, alright? Now, do I typecast you? Johnny T: Am I like “Oh, there’s a red guy whose face don’t make no sense, he must be from that street where learns all them kids!” Mario: My… face makes sense… Johnny T: Look, Mario, you and me, we’ve gotta stick together. Fafa: Johnny, it’s great to see ya and everything, but we’ve gotta kinda keep doing the blog. Johnny T: Hey, don’t let me stop you! Go put your hat on and teach them people. Fafa: What? Johnny T: You know, you put your fancy school hat on, you list funny facts, that’s what you guys do, right? Mario: We… do more than that. Johnny T: Yo Mario, do that thing you do I like. Mario: What are you talking about? Johnny T: You know that thing where you get all crazy and bugged out. Mario: What are you talking about?! Johnny T: That thing, you know, “Hey, I’m Mario, I’m freakin’ out, I’m all wor-” Mario: (freaks out) Johnny T: Yeah, that’s it, that’s what I like. Johnny T: Now you go put on your hat and go teach me something I don’t know. Fafa: We weren’t really planning on doing this today. Johnny T: Teach me something. Fafa: It doesn’t work like that, it needs to be something relevant to this blog. Johnny T: Alright, uh, well… we were talking about garlic nuts before, right? Teach me something about those. Fafa: Uh… garlic nuts are an appetizer sold at most pizzerias. Johnny T: I knew that. Fafa: Garlic nuts are… made with pizza dough, garlic and olive oil. Johnny T: I knew that. Fafa: Okay… in 2012, 350-pound Robert Wheeler punched his pizza delivery boy in the face for forgetting to bring him his garlic nuts. Johnny T: I did not know that! Learning. Done. Boom. Let’s do something else. Mario: I want garlic nuts now. Johnny T: You want some? I got ’em in my car. Fafa: Johnny, we kinda gotta, you know, keep doing- Johnny T: The blogging, talking to the people, I got your back, coz. Johnny T: Hey you. You ready for this? We’re gonna do a top 10 list! Fafa: Wha- no we’re not! Johnny T: Oh come on, you do ’em all the time and people love ’em. Johnny T: Here’s the one you did about the Internet. Here’s the one you did about sad man movies. Mario: Here’s the one we did about Facebook! Johnny T: Yo, you got my back, Mario! That really means a lot to me. Fafa: No, guys, stop, those lists take a lot of time to prepare. Johnny T: You don’t got one ready? Alright, I got you, coz. Johnny T: Alright, uh, top of my head, just spitballing here… Top 10 things worse than Steven Seagal. Fafa: What? Johnny T: Number 10: A piece of dog crap. Fafa: (gasp) You can’t say that! Johnny T: Why not? Fafa: There might be kids watching this! Johnny T: You think kids don’t know about dog crap? What’s wrong with you? Fafa: Johnny, it’s not that kind of blog… Johnny T: Number 9: Stepping in a piece of dog crap. Fafa: Stop it! Mario: Number 8: Steven Seagal holding dog crap! Johnny T: There you go! Fafa: I have to seriously insist we stop this! Johnny T: Alright, alright, but you gotta let me say my number one thing worse than Steven Seagal. Fafa: (sigh) Is it…? Johnny T: Nah, it’s not dog crap. Fafa: Alright, go ahead. Johnny T: The number one thing worse than Steven Seagal? Two Steven Seagals. Boom. Done. Fafa: I’m sorry about this, everyone. Mario: Two Steven Seagals is horrifying! Johnny T: Aw, man, I gotta go. I gotta see a guy about some Chaka Khan tickets. Alright, Fafa, always good to see ya, buddy. Fafa: Take it easy, buddy. Johnny T: Alright. Hey, Chaka Khan tickets, cheap. (unintelligible) Fafa: Who’s Chaka Khan? Johnny T: Ah, forget about it, no worry. Alright, catch you later, Mario! You and me, buddy, we’re going to Six Flags next week and make some time! (car horn honking) Mario: Your cousin is kind of the best! Fafa: I think he’s why I’m fat. Mario: Wait a minute. Do we have to do blog now? Fafa: I… think we just did? Johnny T: Do yourself a favor. Subscribe to this blog. You’re gonna learn something, maybe the gorilla’s gonna do a dance, maybe that red guy’s gonna freak out, you’ll love it. Mario: What are you doing on the end page?! Johnny T: You see what I’m talking about? Subscribe now, for the low, low prize… of zero! You believe that? Bless freaking America.

100 thoughts on “Introducing: Johnny T

  1. Have a femail puppet! mario's sister! you can name her? she is a tomboy. plz put this in your next ask vid and make this happen. many shows have lack in girl's.

  2. Maybe you guys should do a video about what was "you the viewers" first blog episode and talk about it and talk to the audience. And what about it made you want to subscribe and share a story if it's interesting it gets mentioned in the blog.

  3. Johnny T seems like such an important cast member, now. Was this planned, or was he more of an experiment at first?

  4. As a child,I can say that the word crap is perfectly acceptable.Other words,however,are not,or I will have to unsubscribe.
    Just kidding, but seriously though.

  5. You gotta hook your cousin, Johnny T, up with my friend, Toots Sweet. I'm tellin' yous, you guys are gonna get along so good! Fuhgeddahboutit!

  6. After watching several videos with Johnny T in them and only now realize he is a toad. I thought he was some kind of weird human XD

  7. – Uh, the two of you are cousins??
    <Fafa&JohnnyT nodding both>
    – How is that even possible!?
    JohnnyT: What? My father was Italian!
    ^^^Mario flinches^^^

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