Handling Confusing Relationships (Cricket & Life Series)

In cricket, it’s difficult to play a good
length ball. Why is that so? Now, if the ball is short pitched, it’s very
clear for the batsman, that he has to play back foot. And if the ball is full pitched, it’s very
clear for the batsman that he has to play front foot. When the ball is good length, however, the
batsman is confused, whether to play front foot or back foot. So in that state of confusion, there are good
chances of getting out. When it comes to life, we have people who
support us; we call them friends. And we have people who undermine us; we call
them enemies. It’s very clear how to deal with friends,
and how to deal with enemies. But then there are frenemies, people who sometimes
support us, and sometimes undermine us. It could be our family members, colleagues,
clients or customers. Dealing with them can be very confusing. Psychologists call these relationships ambivalent
relationships. An ambivalent relationship is as challenging
as a good length ball. You have to constantly grapple with questions
about when the other person is going to act as a friend, and when as an enemy. According to studies, ambivalent relationships
are unhealthier than even negative relationships. It can be highly stressful, depressing, and
dissatisfying. So psychologists recommend that ambivalent
relationships be avoided at all cost. But then, if we look around us, so many of
our relationships are ambivalent. Is it not? Sometimes even so called close relationships
can be ambivalent. How far can we keep avoiding them? So yes, we should try to avoid ambivalent
relationships as far as is practical. But at the same time, we should gradually
train ourselves to see relationships from a spiritual perspective. A person who is very elevated spiritually
is like a batsman who’s set on the crease, who can play any ball with ease – short pitch,
full pitch or good length. Similarly a spiritually advanced person is
equanimous – irrespective of whether he or she is surrounded by friends, enemies or frenemies.

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