Giraffes Volleyball Championship 2016

Bob: I-I still feel shook.
Mark: Yeah. Wade: Heh.
Bob: Or “lit”… Mark: No, not that one.
Bob: …or swole, or something.
Mark: Woke. Wade: Swole! Bob: Woke.
Mark: You woke now, ’cause you’re aware and you’re- Bob: I’m woke as fuck. Mark: You’re awake to the genitals. *Mark popping his lips*
Bob: Ugh. Mark: Anyway, hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Giraffe’s Volleyball Champion… ship *sigh* 2016. *Bob & Wade laughing* Mark: I can’t do a single god-damn intro. Bob (mocking): Champinion-chup! Wade: Chup! Wade: Ship! Mark: It’s been a long day because today we did all of the “meet people out in the park” kind of thing, and we just got done with Genital Jousting. Bob: And McDonald’s didn’t give us like half our food.
Mark & Wade: Yeah, that’s true. Mark: So uh…
Bob: So… sponsor us McDonald’s. And give us all our fucking food!
*all laugh* Mark: But either way decided to have a palate cleanser with Giraffes Volleyball Championship Bob (high pitched voice): It looks so cute!
Mark: It is cute, it’s cute. Mark: Alright, so we got this game because it looked adorable and cool and it- it looks like something that might be very difficult to do but at the same time rewarding. Mark: Oh.
Bob: Woah, woah. Mark: Hi, hey.
Bob: Woah, hey.
Mark: Hi. Woahahahah! Bob: ‘Sup?
Mark: Hi, how’s it going? Mark: Oh, I forgot something. *Laughter* Wade: Woah. Wh-wha? Mark: Wha-? Did you say somethin’? Bob: Wait… you over there? Mark: Yeah. Bob: What’s going… what’s going on? Mark: Ooohhh. Mark: Nothing. *Wade giggles* Bob: Wait! Come back! Mark: Wha-! What’s that?! Bob: Ah, hang on. Bob: Could you-?
Mark: Oh- hi. Bob: He- Mark: Ooohh-kay. Mark: That’s- I need personal space. Bob: Baby, come back over, baby Mark: No- ah- I- Bob: Come over here, baby. Mark: Um-
Bob: Come here, come here. Bob: Come on. *Mark quickly kisses* Mark: Ohhh. Bob: You don’t gotta have your head up high. You can be a little- a little… *shrinking sound effect* Mark: Okay- alright, you know- I’m just going to do this this once. *Silence* *Bob starts making gasping noises* *Bob’s gasping picks up speed* Wade: This is a very different game than Genital Jousting. Mark: You bout to-? *Bob grunts* Mark: Aw! *continued grunts* Mark: Sorry! *more grunts* Mark: Sorry! *more grunts* Mark: Aw, my bad! *Bob calms his grunting*
Bob: Sorry. Bob: Ahhh… Bob: That was good, baby. Bob: No- wait- sorry, sorry! Bob: Hang on- wait, wait, wait! *failed kiss* Bob: Wait, come here. *They kiss again* Bob: Okay see ya! *they all laugh* *claps* Bob: What the actual fuck is happening? Mark: I-I don’t know. Wade: I was wondering-
*Bob’s laugh gets louder* Mark: Is this the whole game?! Bob: Is the resolution off? Is it just too- outside the thing on the screen? Mark: No, I don’t- I think of- Mark: Something is supposed to happen. *Wade & Bob giggle like children* Mark: Something’s supposed to happen. Bob: Oh my god!
Mark: There we go! Mark: We just had a bug. Mark: Oh, oooohhh, myyy gawd! *Wade giggles* *Mark attack noise* *Mark’s French laugh* Mark: Oh they can’t- Bob: Hyup! Mark: HAAaaa. Mark: Aw fuckin’-
Bob: Spiked it bitch! Mark: Oh my god. *Bob wiggling noise* Wade: Whoa-ho-ho! *Bob wiggling noise* *Mark slower wiggle noise* *Mark’s battle cry* Bob: Hyuuuk! Bob: Oh god! Wade: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I think you’re- Wade: something changes
Mark: HUAHAU! Wade: whenever you score- I think Wade: your neck or something-
Mark: YES. Wade: I don’t know. Mark: GUUUU. Bob: So that’s what we were doing before. Bob: We were all-
Mark: HEA-THE-GUGU! Mark: You were just- Mark: I-I mean Mark: I appreciate the- Mark: the depravity of that scene. All: NOOO! All: NOOO!
Bob: It goes through your legs?! Mark: Through your legs! Bob: God damn it! Wade: I guess legs don’t count. Bob: Damn it!
Mark: OH! Mark: I’ll stay down here. Why would I need to be up there? *Bob attack sound* Bob: Oh no. Mark: Why do I need to be up there? *Mark’s baby noises*
Bob: Ball, ball, ball ball, hoh- Mark: He-leedle leedle lee! *confronting sounds* *weird grunts* *noises continue* Wade: Oooohhhh! Bob: Oh god! Jeez! Mark: YES! Bob: I went up fast steadily- *Mark’s weird noises* *Bob joins in* Bob: Yeah keep comin’- come over-
Mark: IT’S COMING! Bob: Keep doin’ that!
Mark: It’s coming! DAAAAAHHH! DEH? Mark: You like that?
*Bob rearing up sounds* Bob: Gyup! Mark: Dup. Mark: Oh- heyyy. Mark: Heyyy. Mark: Dop. Bob: OH JESUS!
Mark: WOW! Bob: Oh my god! Mark: You can get it under your neck and release to slide it down. Wade: Holy… Bob: HYUK- All: Whoa! Mark: Whoa, whoa! *Mark attack noise* Mark: Ohhh boy. *Wade giggles* Mark: It’s that extra bouncy ball there. Bob: Whatchu got boy? Mark: Fuuuuckin’- HUP! Fuuuckin’- Bob: O-oh god- oh- *dual attack sound* Wade: Oh!
Bob: Fuck! Ah shit! *Mark grunts* Bob: Ball. Ball. *Mark giggles* Mark: Uh-oh. Bob: Ball, if we could- BALL! Mark & Wade: Awwww. Bob: Fuckin’-! How the fuck was I supposed to fuckin’-? *Mark making weird noises on each boop* *Bob laughs* Bob: Aww.
Mark: Alright. Mark: You wanna go best of three? Bob: Sure. Mark: Best of three and then we’ll trade off. Mark: HA-DEDUHDUH! Bob: Sllle-HIP! Mark: SNORGEN! Bob: Oh jeez- Bob: Oh god! *Mark evil giggle* *wiggling noises* Wade: Are you wearing a mask or are those just glasses? Mark: I think it’s a mask. Bob: HWOOO! Bob: TOUCH DOWNNN! Mark: Da-geh-doo! Bob: Aw shit- Bob: Ah- Bob: Nya- Bob: Nyagh. Bob: OH GOD! *Mark starts laughing* Bob: I’m so slow! Mark: God, the spider legs.
Bob: I don’t understand the Bob: movement physics of the legs. Mark: Alright, I’mma try and balance this on my head. Mark: Ha, oh. Bob: Oh! Mark: Oh sorry. Bob: Oh! Wade: Whop! Mark: Ohh jeez. Mark: LLLLLL-jeez-ums! All: Owww. Wade: Through the legs. Mark: Haha, hehe. Bob: When you get low, the legs are extra weird. *Mark does mating call* Bob: Hyah! Bob: Aw yeah! Wade: Oh, here we go again. Wade: Bob’s crazy serves. Bob (Ethan voice): My crazy boys. Wade: *giggles* No. Mark: What is up my-? Mark: KH-raazeh! Mark: UAH! Wade: Move your legs- Bob: What?! Bob: What the f-? Bob: Wu? Wa? Mark: Yeah, I know right? *Bob continues to what is disbelief* Mark: God, I’m a fuckin’ wizard. Mark: You ever wonder why my legs do these things? Mark: BOINK! Bob: Ah shit. Bob: Huuah! Wade: Whoo-oo! Bob: Hyuuuah, gotcha. Bob: Boink, got ‘eemmm. Mark: *gasps* That was an amazing serve! Wade: Huuuaahh! Bob: Daah shit. *laughs* Bob: That was harsh. Bob: Hyuh! Mark: Ooohh, dee-duh, aaww, dee-duh, AAHH, fuck. *Bob & Wade laugh* Mark: Alright, hang on, hang on. Mark: HA-da-aw fuck. *Bob laughs* Mark: Hup, there we go. Bob: Oh no. Wade: Oh boy. Bob: OH GOD! *grumbles in defeat* Mark: Yaaay! *Mark making weird noises again* Wade: I feel like this is Mark’s revenge for Genital Jousting. Mark: Handsome Giraffe Wins! *continues noises* This might be my favorite game that I’ve played, in a long time. *Mark leedle noises*
Bob: This is really satisfying, in a lot of ways. Mark: Dah, boink, dah, fuck. *everyone laughs* Mark: I was lookin’ for- trying to do fancy. Wade: Well this isn’t too hard so far. Bob: Wait, how can you ass right up to the edge of the screen and I can’t? Mark: You can’t? Bob: That’s why it fell between me and the wall before. Wade: Oh no, you can’t. Mark: Ohhh. Bob: What the shit is that?! Mark: Well it doesn’t matter because apparently Mark: I’m gonna fuck myself over. Wade: Yeah, you can’t go all the way over here… *combatant grunts* All: WHOA! Bob: Wade’s got the D… …fense. *mix of whoas and oohs* Bob: Oh no. Mark: Well yeah. That would present a distinct disadvantage. *Bob & Wade agree* Bob: Yeah, like, what are you supposed to do now? You can’t fuckin- There ya go, there ya go. Get it on the head there. Oh! Wade: What did I do?! Mark: You didn’t Mark: do it right. Mark: Hut-dee. Bob: Oh dear. *Wade’s weird noises* Bob: It falls faster than you think. *Wade switched his noises to attempt a beat* Mark: Wow. Bob: I could just- Mark: That’s a very pathetic dance. Bob: I could just stare at the legs. Wade: -grunt- WHOOOOHHHH! Bob: The leg wobble.
Wade: WHOOOAAAH! Bob: And be really satisfied Bob: for a long time. Mark: It’s just a pleasant game to look at. Mark & Bob: DUAAHH! Bob: OOOOOH! Wade: Whoo! *continues whoos* Bob: Especially-
Mark: You got lucky that time punk. Bob: Especially the down-low
Wade: Maybe. Bob: like wobble, it’s too much.
Wade: Debabe. Mark: Your mom got lucky last night, with me. Bob: You guys need some hype giraffes in the background. Wade: Okay. *struggling noises* Bob: Oh god. Bob: Oh! Oh God! Oh jee-!
*Wade combatant grunt* Wade: WHOA-HO!
Mark: Heeeeyyy. Mark: Ho-tah. Wade: Wuh-oh. Mark: You’re not gonna need to do anything else. *Wade grunts back in a good effort* All: Ohh. Wade: I thought my body hit it. *Mark hupt-dee herdy gurdy sounds* Mark: AaaAAAhh. Bob: *laughing* Mark mostly just scores on himself. Wade: Nice job, buddy. Mark: I’m just tryin’ to be fancy. Bob: I just need to let you- uh Bob: shit talk. Bob: That’s al- that was my mistake. *Mark giggles* Bob: I tried to play too much. Mark: Ulp- Mark: You ready for this? Wade: I think so. Mark: Ya-deh-deyuh. All: WHOOAH! Mark: Doplenki. Bob: Oh god. Bob: Oh god! Mark: Yeah, you can’t come back. Bob: OHHH shit.
Wade: I did. *attack sounds* Bob: Oh shit. Mark: Just try to get it back! Wade: EH! Bob & Wade: WHOA-OA! Bob: Oh! It’s free shots! Mark: AaaAAAhh. Wade & Bob: OOOHHH! *Wade continues to taunt* Mark: Good thing it’s best of three. Bob: Again, again! Mark: Good thing it’s best of threeee. Wade: Good luck. Wade: I have a family of thr- Mark: HUTDA DEE! Mark: I don’t care about your family. Bob: I thought it was gonna go over. *laughs* Mark: You suck dick. Wade: Eyhch. Wade: Eyu-pup. Bob: Those trick shots though. *Mark attacks valiantly as Wade struggles to fight back* All: Whoaa. *Wade pretends to be a noodle* Bob: Did we take drugs or something? Bob: I feel really loopy right now. Bob: The- the unbelievable juxta”bition”- Wade: Aw noooo. Bob: juxtaposition of just having stopped Bob: playing Genital Jousting, Bob: and now playing THIS, Bob: it’s just like, Bob: I don’t know what life is anymore. Mark: We have chosen a weird day. *conflicting attack grunts* Bob: No, it’s just about the most Bob: jarring programming we could have gone with Bob: for our let’s play session. Wade: ECH! Bob: This is so -whispered- amaze. Mark: I-I think this one- Mark: th-this particular game should be played Mark: while extremely drunk and/or extremely high. Wade: Both. Mark: *mumbles* Extremely drunk. Bob: You know what it reminds me of Bob: a little bit with the music and the aesthetic? Mark: Yeah? Bob: Did you play Lovely Planet? Mark: No, I didn’t- Bob: It was like a first person shooter Bob: that was like, really really loopy, Bob: and you just run around and shoot your love at enemies Bob: to defeat them.
Mark: OH I DID! Mark: Yeah. Bob: And the music was a lot like this, Bob: and you were just like, Bob: whoo! Bob: Pew, pew, pew! Mark: What if we look it up and it’s made by the same developers? Bob: That woud be Bob: mindblowing, Bob: because it is- Bob: it’s got that similar vibe that I really like. Wade: WHOO!
Mark: I mean, I really appreciate the- oh fuck. *Bob laughs* Mark: It’s just so hard to predict when it’s comin’ down. Bob: I know. Bob: The- the- the physics is funky. *Wade mumbles* Mark: B-dee-dhee, trick shots. Mark: I tricked ya up, you thought I was gonna do something and I wasn’t. Wade: Dooh. Woah.
Bob: Oh sweet Jesus. Wade: I hate that stupid wall, too. Bob: I know, I-I don’t understand, that seems- that seems mean. Bob & Wade: Ooohhh. Mark: Gimme a chance.
All: OHhh. Mark: Ah, lidle du. Mark: What are you lookin’ at?
Wade: You’re rude, I think you better get back to serve. Mark: I’m only rude to ugly people.
Wade: You’re not brave enough to stay here the whole ti- Wade: Oh fuck.
*Bob laughs* Bob: I was really hoping it would just fall, that he was just like, fuck it, I wanna say this. *All laugh* Mark: Duaahhh.
Bob: Woahh, double trick shot. Mark & Wade: WhoAAAhhhh. Wade: Nice trick.
Mark: I’m up here, bitch. Wade: Nice trick. Bob: Oh dear. Mark: OHhbe. *Mark laughs*
Wade: I thought my chest was gonna get it. *Mark laughing* Bob: Haha, you thought me had me, but you didn’t, Bob: you thought me had me. *laughs*
Mark: I’mma take this, Bob: Me has me.
Mark: aaand bring it over to you. Bob: Me ask me a question. Bob: Ohh that chest bump though.
Mark: Is that a Walking Dead thing? Mark: L’me ask you somethin’.
Bob: Yeah, that was our, uh- Wade: Shane, uh, that was the Shane.
Bob: Drunk Minecraft Walking Dead. Bob: L’me ask me somethin’. Mark: L’me ask me somethin’. *laughs* Bob: You thought you knew but you did not. *All laugh*
Wade: III’mm lorry. Bob & Mark: IIIMMM loorrrryyy. Mark: Fucking hellll.
Bob: Wow, just fucked it right in there. Wade: What are you gonna do now?
Mark: I’mma beat your, uh- Mark: wife. Wade: woAAAHHHH!
*Bob laughs* Wade: Wowww.
*Bob & Mark laugh* Wade: Good thing I’m just engaged. Mark: I’m sorry, that’s just too far.
Bob: Oh lord, that was- that was not what you meant to say I hope. Wade: It was relatively far. Mark: Not at all what I meant to say.
Wade: Oh whaaaaattt? Wade: I appreciate that that wasn’t what you wanted to say.
Mark: I’m sorry, I only meant to attack your skills, not your character. Wade: Well, I mean, I’m kinda hurt, a little.
Mark: Sorry. Mark: Nope, no, no.
Wade: Aw, why do you always win that head’s up? Mark: Because I am clearly better and thicker chested. Wade: Bleh. *grunting* Bob: Woah. Mark: Can you do- can you do nothing, huh? Nothing? Nothing? Bob & Mark: Oh, ohhh. Mark: Hwoah. Mark: Fuck it. Fuck.
Bob: Huh, hey, huh. Wade: Got you, didn’t I? Mark: You got nothing, ass… hole. Wade: Got a point. Bob: Wade.
Wade: Oh. *Bob sighs in relief* Bob: Falls faster than you think.
Wade: Yeah. Bob: Falls fast. Bob: It’s coming at you. All: Whoa!
Wade: Right there we go. Wade: Come on. Mark: Nope! Not today. Bob: Oh my gosh, what a save though. Mark: Hu- aargh! Wade: No!
Bob: Ah! Mark: Yes!
Bob: Oh my gosh. Mark: Yes!
Wade: Argh. Mark: Yes… Wade: Alright.
Bob: This game doesn’t make me angry, it just makes me happy. Mark: Yeah.
Bob: Even when- even when things happen that seem- seem unfair- Wade: I’m not angry that this is going down this way. Bob: Just feels so good. Mark: Agh!
Bob: Sti- Stickbold absolutely made me angry. Bob: I will say that. Mark: Yeah.
Wade: *giggles* Bob: I was fucking pissed.
Wade: I could tell. Bob: Oh could you? Bob: Was it me screaming like a psychopath that gave it away?
Mark: *laughing* Mark: Ah, ah, ah. Bob: Even when I won ’cause I actually did win one of those of those rounds. Mark: What’re you doing? Wade: Trying to psych you and me out, apparently. Mark: You- you won a lot, Bob. Bob: I just got so mad. Mark: I could te- Bob: You couldn’t help it. Mark: It was really funny, though. Bob: *laughs* Mark: Can’t wait ’til that video comes out. Bob: You know- you know what those beautiful salmon Mark: Eugh! Bob: hills in the background remind me of? Mark: No!
Wade: Yeah! Wade: Woo! Mark: How’d that go through my neck? Wade: Uh I don’t know. Bob: Good job, Wade. Wade: I felt like you did that to me a couple times. Mark: Fucking bullshit. Bob: They remind me of all the hills that we saw today while we were driving around LA meeting fans. Mark: And also the hills on that last location, they’re kinda- Bob: Yeah, that- Wade: Oooh! Mark: Mmmm.
Bob: Oh, oh! Wade: Eugh.
Bob: Oh! Mark: Hyeuh.
Bob: Oh! There you go. Bob: There you go, now you got it. Bob: Oh Wade, oh Wade! Mark & Bob: Oh Wade. Bob: Holy jeez! Mark: I’m gonna-
Bob: Oh God Wade! Wade: *grunting* Mark: I’m gonna- AHh! Bob: Aw! All: *laughing*
Wade: Oh man. Bob: Oh my God. Bob: All of that- all of that almost worked out. Mark: Okay. Bob: Oh! Mark: Euh. Bob: Oh yeah, oh yeah, you got him. Mark: It all comes down to this. Wade: I know. Mark: Hah… ha. Bob: Ouh, oh! Wade: Woah! Mark: Ha. Mark: Ah. Mark: *laughs*
Bob: *joins in* Wade: Two inches at a top.
Mark: Hyehh! Bob: Aw that- that block though. *A lot of ahhs and oohs* Mark: I know right? It’s all gonna be a disappoint- Wade & Bob: *cheers*
Mark: *disappointed noises* Mark: Nooooo…. ahhhhh. Bob: It makes me wanna applaud a lot. Mark: Oh no man. Wade: That was a well fought couple of matches. Mark: Jeezums. Alright. Mark: So now it’s- it’s- it’s- it’s Bob and Wade’s turn. Alright it’s got to go around here. It’s Bob and Wade’s turn. Wade: It takes some getting used to being this side now. Bob: Aw shit, alright there we go. Wade: It’s so nice being able to go all the way back to the wall. Mark: I know right? Mark: Oh no. Bob: Not like this. Wade: Nice save. Bob: *Random rambling noises* Bob: Ah shit! Why did I go up? I’m bad at the up down controls, that’s my big weakness. Mark: Gotcha. Bob: Eat shit. Mark: *giggles* Bob: Huh. Bob: Nooo. Mark: *Laughing* Bob: God jeez. Wade: Nice, nice moves. Bob: You guys catch it on your neck. I can’t do it. Mark: Neck-ball coordination. Bob: Ho ho nooooo. *Mark laughing* Bob: That was my trick shot and everything. God dammit. Wade: Didn’t work. Bob: Yeah, score on yourself, do it for me. Wade: Woah! Bob: Do it. Thank you. Mark: Ah, I meant to do that on purpose. Bob: Tricksy tricksy bitch. *Simultaneous reaction*
Wade: Wha… WHAT?
Mark: WOAH! Wade: Wha…? Wade: What was that?! Bob: I don’t know! Wade: What was that bullcrap? Mark: Wow! Bob: I’m a wizard. Mark: Apparently. Wade: Well. Okay. Mark: I’m still in shock. Wade: Yeah. Mark: I mean, I don’t know why that’s shocking when looking at all the necks and extendable legs, but… that was shocking. Bob: If you want to do something hard enough, it will happen. Mark: Is that how it works? Bob: That’s what we want our character to do- FUCK! *Through clenched teeth*
Bob: Do that hit with your head you bitch. Wade: Hey. Bob: Good game… Wade: You too… *tongue clicks* *laughter ensues* Bob: That’s where your dick comes out right at the front of your chest. Wade: Full… extension. Mark: Ma-maybe those legs are just four dicks that he’s walkin’ with. Wade: *hum in agreement* Bob: KICK! Wade: Could do better next time. Wade: Oooh… Bob: That’s not what I thought was going to happen. Bob: Oh jeez. Wade: Woah. Bob: Just came out- oap. *silly noise party* Wade: Ball’s over there, ball’s over there now.
(Bob continues noise party) Bob: Oh shit, no no NO NOOOO! Wade: Now we’re back to this. Bob: Guah nah I’m so fucked. I’m so fucked GAHdddddddaaaaamn. Mark: Volleyball sucks. Bob: I don’t know how to fucking play in that spot. NnnnnnnnnaileD IT! Mark: Just waiting for the magical, transporting net ball to appear. Wade: No, not again. *simultaneous ohhhs* Bob: Ohh the trick shot! All: WWOAAHHHHH! Bob: Oh God Oh No! Wade: Hey, that was a great serve. *Laughter* Bob: *mocking* That was a great serve. Wade: I don’t like that. Bob: *whining* Why didn’t that go your way? *continues whining* Wade: *over Bob’s whining* You went through the net once. Give me a break. Bob: That’s my only point. *Random noises* Mark: Yaaaay. Mark: Humble giraffe. Mark: That was Giraffes Volleyball Championship 2016. That was a delightful game. Wade: *agrees with Mark*
Bob: That was unbelievably pleasant. Mark: I-I had no idea it was gonna be like that. Mark: So, uh, yeah, thank you everybody so much for watching, Mark: and we really hope you enjoyed that because we had a delightful time playing that. Bob: I feel so good right now. Mark: I think this is a free game, right? Bob: It was free on itch.io.
Wade: Yeah. Mark: It was like a pay your own way kinda game, I think we chipped in twenty bucks for it. Mark: You guys don’t have to pay anything, or you can pay something to the developer. Mark: This is a really charming game. I like it a lot. Mark: I think they could improve it and, um, add a lot more features to it and it could be a really cool experience. Mark: So thank you everybody so much for watching, let us know what you thought down in the comments below, Mark: check out their channels in the description, and as always we will see you in the next video. Buh-bye!