Ban Junk Rubbers in Table Tennis!


They should ban junk rubbers in table tennis!
Players who use them are cheating! What are junk rubbers? Rubbers that aren’t the normal inverted grippy
rubbers that most players use. The ball comes off the junk rubber differently. Oh, I see. Why should they be banned? Because they allow unathletic players with
no skill to compete with skilled athletic players. Why is that bad? Because it makes table tennis unattractive
to watch, and it is unfair that old, slow players can compete with young, fit players. Why? Because it looks silly when some fit young
athlete loses to an old fat couch potato. Why does it matter? Because I’m a fit young athlete who loses
to old fat couch potatoes. Why do you lose? Because my opponent’s junk rubber returns
the topspin I put on the ball back to me, and I make easy mistakes. It’s not fair. I don’t understand. The junk rubber sends
your spin back to you? Yes. Does it always send back what topspin you
put on the ball? Pretty much, yes. Junk rubbers can’t change
the spin much, they just reflect it back to me, so it comes back to me as backspin. They don’t change the spin randomly? No. There used to be some junk rubbers like
that, but we banned them. Now all the junk rubbers have to be predictable. So your heavy topspin always comes back as
heavy backspin to you? Well, yes. I don’t understand. If junk rubbers don’t
change the spin randomly, but just send back what spin you put on the ball, why does that
make you make a mistake? Because I can’t remember what spin I put on
the ball. When I play other players that use inverted rubbers I just look at what spin
they put on the ball. But didn’t you say that junk rubbers can’t
put any spin of their own on the ball? Yes. So if you can’t remember what spin you put
on the ball from two seconds ago, why don’t you just stop putting spin on the ball? But I like putting heavy topspin on the ball!
It makes me look athletic and it feels good to hit the ball hard. Besides, if I don’t put any spin on the ball,
sometimes my opponent will turn his bat around in his hand and use the normal rubber on the
other side of his bat to play an attacking topspin at me. This often wins him the point. Is that easy for him to do? Well, no. Because he has to figure out where
I’m hitting the ball, then turn his bat around really fast to use the normal rubber. Then
he has to play a different stroke because the ball comes off the normal rubber differently
to his junk rubber. That actually sounds kind of skillful
to me. But it is the wrong type of skill! What is the right type of skill? The skills that I have! Being athletic and hitting
the ball hard with lots of topspin! Do you get points for looking athletic while
playing, sort of like figure skating? No. Do you get more points for hitting the ball
harder? No, a player only wins a point when his opponent
makes a mistake. Like when you make a mistake because you can’t
remember what spin you put on the ball? Yes. How long did it take for you to learn to hit
a good, hard, fast topspin? A few hundred hours. How long would it take you to learn how to
play against junk rubbers properly? Probably fifty hours or so. So why don’t you just learn how to play against
junk rubbers? Because I only want to practice what I like
doing! Why should I practice doing things I don’t like? Because you want to win? I’d rather spend the fifty hours on table
tennis forums complaining about junk rubbers. And talking about how to boost your rubbers? Yes. Hey, wait a second. Because boosting isn’t cheating at all, is
it? Hey, is that Jan-Ove Waldner over there? Gotta
go!

13 thoughts on “Ban Junk Rubbers in Table Tennis!

  1. Realize this is a bit of satire, and requires a bit of black and white thinking to work,  but I think most of us realize any truly good long/medium pips or anti player rarely merely reflects what a topspin player gives them. Of course they want us to think thats all that's involved… I love playing against these guys, and when you practice with one of them your game is sure to improve (especially when they are fair players who understand how to do a proper warm up with inverted and use legal gear)

  2. My friend said ban all pimple rubbers, I said what came first pimpled or inverted. Funny thing is he plays chop with dead rubber on BH cause his first bat was pimpled hardbat.

  3. I am old enough to remember when everyone played with basically the same type of bat  i.e.. pimpled rubber, no sponge.  I had a few years off table tennis and when I came back sponge was rife.  I just could not control the amount of spin this put on the ball.  So I had to start playing with anti spin which enabled me to control the ball, and also played more like a rubber bat.  In my opinion table tennis has got itself in a mess by not cracking down on all the different types of bats that are allowed.  I cannot think of another sport where the equipment makes so much difference.  I would happily go back to rubber bats and let the skill of the player count.  The same players would probably come out top, but then we could all know we were beaten by a better player, not a better bat.  So as for junk bats – I think yours are!

  4. Two players I know of recently, one has moved from A3 grade to A1 grade almost overnight with the help of some funny rubber,now i am told he damaged the sponge then re glued it back on,now he is destroying most players is this fair?
    Another one has also powered through the grades now into A1 Formaly A3,both long term players of 30 years or so with funny pimples and anti spin or something now.All this moving swiftly through the grades now while I am training young guys 3 times a week and playing comp. 2 nights a week who are breaking their backs to become an A grade player,is this fair?

  5. It is OK to have various types of rubbers. However, in competition, everyone should play with the same type of rubber. If you like playing with long pimples, get into competitions for that type of game.

  6. Hi greg, nice animation and very funny indeed. It would be nice to translate into spanish for my fellow "pimple haters :-)"

    I can do the translation, but I don't know how to insert ir into the video…

    Could I send you the translation let's say in WORD ?

    Thanks

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