Archery Golf!


(all exclaiming) Oh no! I’m sorry Wren! I’m so sorry Wren! So today we’re gonna play “Archery Golf”. It’s like frisbee golf exept instead of there being a basket or a pole that you have to hit with a frisbee, It’s a person that you have to hit with an arrow! Now, whoever has to take the most shots to hit that person becomes the flag pole for the next round. You will get hit with an arrow. Wren, you remeber when I said I needed you to be an integral part of this video? Of course… Oh, that’s what you meant! I need you to put on the Waldo shirt and be the first target. So let me get this straight… You’re all gonna take turns shooting an arrow at me? Yes. Whoever takes the most shots to get to you becomes the target for the second round. Oh man I hope Jake does poorly. Too bad I’m super good at archery! Go down there Bye Wren! Bye Obey! Uh, how do you wanna determine who goes first? Chin-Chin! Niko, let us begin Chin-Chin. Chin-Chin two! Chin-Chin none! Chin-Chin three! Fuck! Yes! Whoo! Here you go Jake Alright There’s a little kid out there though so… He’ll be fine I’m not even gonna put the mask on for this cause they’re so far away Didn’t even make it halfway… That was disappointing… Now we got Niko firing it Woah, that did pretty good Thank you That was pretty good! I wonder if they know that they have to shoot the arrow at a 45° angle to maximize the distance That’s physics. That was weaksauce Brett, you are away so please, begin! I hope they don’t hit Obey my wife would not be happy He missed but he actually came pretty close! The striped shirt kinda threw me off a little bit Nice shot! Blows the birdie opportunity! Can I, can I just knock it in real quick? Yeah, go ahead go ahead (laughs) Yes Nine iron huh? Well, you’re fired This is for par baby! Aagghh Whooo! Alright! Everyone is on par! I think we tied Yeah that’s a Chin-Chin game Alright it’s a Chin-Chin game to see who, uh Is the unfortunate victim Here’s how the game of Chin-Chin works If you watch this now you must play Chin-Chin for life Just like in rock-paper-scissors where there’s a rhythm where you go: “one, two, three, shoot!” It’s the same for Chin-Chin “Chin-Chin-blank” On that beat you say a number I’m gonna go with: “Chin-Chin three!” And everyone gets to decide to put up either thumbs, both thumbs, or no thumbs. And if I say a number that is equal to the number of thumbs that popped up, I lose one hand! And the first one to lose both hands wins So you keep going until there’s one loser Chin-Chin six! Chin-Chin two Chin-Chin two! Alright Chin-Chin two! Chin-Chin three! Chin-Chin none! Chin-Chin one Chin-Chin none! Chin-Chin two! Chin-Chin one! Chin-Chin two! Chin-Chin one! Whoo! Alright… What does “par” mean? A par is how many shots it should take you to get into the target/hole It should take a competent archer four shots to get to Brett and hit him. I’m not gonna lose this game Right through that hole in the trees Oh, bold strategy! And it looks like it’s payed off! He’s almost there in a birdie, my god Oh, no! That’s like when you’re trying to go between the sand trap and the pond then you hit the sand trap Alright Wren Is your go-pro rolling? Woah, woah Was everything rolling? Awww… Ooh that’s in the pond! That’s in the pond baby! I hadn’t fired the arrow yet! You just fired it! Wren CLEARLY hit the pond Wren you’re gonna have to take a drop buddy Put it behind you and then drop it then wherever it lands is where you shoot from Alright, further back it is! Further back! (laughs) I might be able to shoot it out of the tree… I think I can do it! Hold on. Real quick, real quick Ready? NOOO! I told you we were gonna lose another one! You’re gonna have to bear-hug it all the way up This is a bad idea Yeah… Brett is just standing out in the field waiting for us to shoot at him You’ve lost two precious irons To the tree of death! Let us move on! Ready Brett? Oh! Aww (laughs) This is what a good shot looks like Sorry Brett Oh that was a par!!! Wren, you’re away, sir Oh, triple bogie! Triple bogie “Wren Whiteman, for triple bogie” OHH Wren is tilting right now Wooo Oh he hit him, he hit him that counts Barely! We’re all sportsmen here what do we do when somebody hits the target? Well Wren Unfortunately for you and fortunately for me, Niko and Brett You’re now the flagpole again fantastic… So we’re gonna raise the stakes a little bit the flagpole will be on the other side of the water I have a feeling both Brett and Jake are gonna put and arrow into the water What’s up Jake? How about we do a tactical skill shot where you have to shoot it to the edge and then shoot across No we’re gonna lose our arrows, guaranteed Come on dude… None of you guys have the control to not overshoot I’ll bet you! I’ll bet you ten dollars! I won’t overshoot it Um, I just saw you overshoot it five minutes ago Yeah, I know. But I be you on this one I won’t I bet you ten dollars. Ten dollars? This is like the handshake between Trudeau and Donald Trump Wait a minute… Oh you mean like this? Yeah, yeah like (struggles) Haha like, what was that? We’re gonna start back there… wait for him to get to the edge here and then shoot over the water. SKILL is the name of this game And I’m gonna make ten bucks in the process What’s the par? Par… Three? Par three Confidence level is high… I plan on just taking a little bit of Niko’s pride with this one I could maybe aim for one of those trees just hit the tree and it’ll stop it right there but if I miss the tree it goes right into the water. Or I could shoot it up so it comes back down with no forward momentum and then hits the ground in front More than anything else I don’t want it to go into the water So that Jake can’t gloat He takes no risks Niko “safety” Pueringer This arrow here is worth ten dollars to Niko My pride is worth ten dollars All about to change… (all exclaiming) It’s right here! We’re safe! Good show, good show Niko are you gonna go over? Yes, yes I will be Don’t lose it in the water! No chance Ready? It’s in the water! Oh… More over! Wow… That added way more clearance than I thought I needed Well Niko… You’ve earned ten dollars, Jake Where is it? Oh I don’t have any cash on me I’ll Venmo him ten dollars You better Venmo me… Full draw, full draw, full draw there you go! Whoo, clips the tree on the way over! Oh, you guys are so close! That was great Fortunately, I made it across the pond but, I’m right in front of this tree. Do I shoot over the next branch and under the one after that? Or do I attempt to go over this one, and over that one and then under the white tree? I would go over this and then under this… Well Niko, that’s where you and I are different Cause I’m gonna go over both Ready? Oooh, very close Whoo! I still have bogie but I will take it sir! You ready Wren? Yeah! Alright… Niko for par! (pain) OOOOOOH Oh no! I’m sorry Wren! I’m so sorry Wren! I did not block that in time… You alright man? Yeah, dude, I’ve got the twisting going on right now… I didn’t block it in time! I saw it coming and I was like: “OH NO!” I told you I wouldn’t miss I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news… Good news is that we probably won’t hit you in the nuts again The bad news is, you’ve got two more shots coming at you Oh! Ah Deh! God, that stings! Sorry dude Oh! Right on the tailbone! Good game chaps! Well, Niko congratulations you won the game… but you still owe me ten dollars Brett, Yeah? We’ll practice up and try this again Sounds good. Wren, thank you for being a great sport! And uh, you make a great target! Let’s go stand back in the field… and Wren gets one shot at each one of us to try to hit us once Really!? Considering there’s only one helmet and there’s three of us, I’m feeling pretty good! Wren if you’re gonna aim for me you’re gonna have to aim a little better! Telling you right now! Aaaah! Woah! This also must’ve been what it was like going into battle… *thump* OOOOOH! Whoo! I definitely feel bad for Wren… It sucks being shot at with arrows, and also for all of our ancestors who got shot at in days of yore Yeah this video is dedicated to those guys that got killed with arrows For real!

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