AIB : Honest Cricket Fans

Fuck! This toss is fixed! Whenever there’s a toss happening, theres always a gust of wind, Wind is fixed. Probability is fixed. Look, what did he say first? Heads. And what came next? Tell me? Heads! They’ve paid money, to bribe money. See! It’s fixed. Everything fixed hai. But even then, I will watch every match. Because I want more cricket! More cricket! More cricket. 500 matches are too less! More cricket! I watch Big Bash as well! Give me cricket! Give me cricket! Shove cricket up my butt, I want to snort cricket! Give me cricket! Give me cricket! This tune is irritating.. It’s every idiot’s caller-tune…. These cricketers are spoilt. They have so much! I falsely swear, in our time, we didn’t even have a bat. We’d use our hands as bats, and hit sixes. Tantrum tantrum tantrum! About watching Shinchan! I told you, you should have pulled out. Oh! Just like Jonty. Look, look at our fielders, shamelessly jumping on their two legs. In our time, we didn’t even have legs. One leg was affected by polio, and the other, I’d use as mortgage, with the moneylender. Should have pulled out. In our time, even sex hadn’t been invented, we used to pray for an orgasm, tool in hand. I’ll serve food slowly, so that I can watch the match. Hey! You’re blocking the screen even from the side! Don’t you have a sense of class bias? If I don’t vent out my frustration on you, who will I scream at? You? You saw him make just 3 runs,. now watch him make 3 crores. Even after such a poor performance, how does he get brand endorsements? Because, fuck bowlers! First, we’ll have a close of his hand, then, a single drop of sweat will roll down his face. Which is actually water, because he stepped out of the vanity van just 5 minutes ago. After wearing a cap, a helmet, and sun glasses, why does he need to use a face cream? Because, fuck bowlers! Also he’s already fair, from Delhi, spends most of his time in AC rooms. Then why is he endorsing this cream? Because fuck who? Fuck bowl- Now we’ll add 2 teaspoons of graphics, so that idiots believe, that this is scientific. Do you know, how many zeroes does a crore have? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! Finally, he, a youth icon, role model, future Bharat Ratna, and Rajya Sabha MP, will pick up this product and say – If you’re dark skinned, you’re a loser. Thank god I didn’t become a Hockey player, or a bowler. We sell racism, I’m damn shameless. This match on TV, the one that both you and I are watching, what’s the score? 135 for unexpected wickets. Unexpected wickets? But, half and hour ago, when I got out of my cubicle, I saw that they had lost expected wickets. Do they continue playing, even when I’m not watching TV? Hey! When did he hit this six? Did he bowl while, we were talking? Yes sir, it seems like they continued playing. Did you watch yesterday’s match? These guys played yesterday as well? Fuckers. These guys play matches, even when I’m not watching. First I’ll do the shouting! Then we will copy him! I have zero creativity! We have zero creativity as well! Either way, either way! Match can go either way! Retired player! Retired player! Guys, I’m ordering South Indian food from Something Something Sagar. Does anyone want anything? Yes. I want a Paneer Masala Dosa. One dosa, masala paneer. I want a paneer , tomato, avocado, szechuan, mayo, chilli cheese, lithium, iron, mercury, cadmium, Chinese, Mexican, South Indian masala dosa. Actually hold the lithium, today is thursday. Everyone has definitely forgotten their wallets right? Sorted. Yes. Sorted. Obviously. We won’t join in. Fuck! We’re such conformists! Dude! You got up, and we lost the last wicket! This obviously means that these two mutually exclusive events are totally related. I’m really sorry, it’s not like these 11 players have trained for years to make this happen. Shit, sorry. I won’t get up now, because cricket runs from my ass. During our time, we didn’t even have an ass, we’d hit kids when we had to spank someone.

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