The football world reacts to Messi failing at international level. Again! Knocked out again. What a shame. Really? Yes. A terrible shame. Daddy? Are you okay?
You normally throw a party when Messi gets knocked out of a major tournament… Messi?! I was talking about the England Women’s Team. Messi es un burro! Yes!
That’s the Ballon d’Or in the bag baby! We’ll see about that! You see England women lost in the Women’s World Cup semi-final, just like England men lost in the Nations League semi-final. Yes you ha- Has Daddy ever told you about the time he won The Nations League at the first attempt? Yes you ha- I haven’t? Well, take a seat! Messi is out! Haha. That’s the most unsuccessful performance I’ve seen on the international stage since… Germany in the last World Cup? What? No! I was go to say since Theresa May negotiating Brexit. Asshole. And that is how Daddy single-handedly won the Nations League. Wake up! I said that is how Daddy single-handedly won the Nations League! Yeah! Well done Daddy! Now, go and get a shower and get ready for a PARTY! Roberto do me a favour, pal? Go and twat Messi in the head will ya? Tell him Andy says hello. And don’t whack him one time, whack him… Two times! No Hendo!
Milly was going to say do it 6 times! You ruined my hilarious pun! Things like this are why I’ll be making Virgil captain next season. What? Oops, did I say that out loud? Oh I’m so drunk… Ha. Pathetic Messi! If you want to be the GOAT like Zlatan, then you have to win an international trophy. Like Zlatan. What? You’ve never won an international trophy, Mr. Top Knot! Come over here and say that again… I said, you’ve never won an international trophy! Mr. Top. Knot. Now I have! Messi is still the GOAT, si? He’s still the best player in world football, si? He’s still worth about £40m, si? Maybe I can teach Leo how to perform at international level. #ANNOUNCEGRIEZMANN I can’t believe I missed a pen… I can’t believe I missed a pen! Seriously, announce Griezmann… you’re embarrassing me in front of my film crew! Hey, you didn’t tell me I was being filmed! I can’t believe I missed a pen… Poor Lionel. I just can’t imagine how it must feel to let your country down on the international stage… Can you? I’m sorry I missed the pen!
But it wasn’t my fault… their keeper handballed it! What do you think caller? Messi? What a big bag of pish. Give me Marouanne Fellaini any day of the week! He’s the true GOAT. For the last time, David. Stop showing up here and locking yourself in the office. GO HOME! I’ll go home when you give me a new 6 year contract! You bastard! No no no, my poor Lionel. There’s only one way he will ever win an international trophy… Vamos Argentina!